Yes! How cool, right? You're over the moon with happiness for your bestie and can't wait to stand beside her on her big special day; of course you'll be her bridesmaid! However, once the wedding highs wear off the "bridal bills" come in, you start to think maybe you bit off a bit more than you can chew: the dress, the shoes, hair and makeup, travel expenses bachelorette weekend or wedding travels). That's also not including gifts, the parties, the showers, and being responsible to pitch in fees for all events related to the wedding!
What if you're in more than one wedding this year? How much money is too much money? When did it go from the old school, more traditional ways of providing the standard attires for the wedding party, to basically having them pay the entire cost of the "fun" part of your wedding. Is there a way to politely decline? Is it worth going into financial debt to stand next to you for an hour? I was inspired to write this story by a friend who said it was going to average out to be one thousand dollars for her to participate as a bridesmaid for a friend. I then took to Facebook and Instagram to find out from fellow brides and bridesmaids in search to find the "bridal budget" medium and the feedback I received was very enlightening, take a look! (All names have been changed for discretion.)
Tara, Bridesmaid
1. Dress $160
2. Bridal Shower $140 (plus gift, $40)
3. Bachelorette Party $400 (plus gift, $60)
4. Hotel $200 (not required due to venue being 2 hours away)
5. Hair & Make Up $60 (plus tip)
6. Nails $75 (optional)
Total: $1,075 *Bride payed for for shoes $30
Brandi, Bride
1. Dress $72
2. Hair $50
Total $122 *Shoe brands were optional but needed to be a specific color and make up was of bridesmaids preference
*Bride supplied evening jewelry as gift
Lucy, Bride
1. Dress $80
2. Shoes $30
3. Hair $40
Total: $150
Kristy, Bridesmaid for 2 Weddings
Wedding One was pretty simple, only having to pay $190 for the dress with her choice of shoes and make up & hair optional.
Wedding Two was almost the exact opposite.
1. Dress $525
Total: $1500 ($975 going to to bachelorette weekend, travel costs and gifts)
Kirby, Bride *Destination Wedding
1. Round trip ticket from Dallas, TX to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico $360 (Plus spending money)
2. Dress brand optional but must be in specific color
* All bridal party able to say at resort all inclusive for 6 days
Total: no more than $500
So there it is, the fine print on the bottom of your bridesmaid contract. Don't get me wrong, weddings are extremely fun and even more so when you get to be a part of someone's special day but keep in mind these two things: 1. If you're a bride, be mindful of your friends' financial standpoint, not everyone is on the same money train as you. 2. If you're a bridesmaid, understand fully of your financial responsibilities to the wedding and if you can really commit. There's nothing worse for a bride than half of her bridal party canceling last minute due to financial struggles. (Well, except getting left at the altar.) What if you have to cancel? You've looked over and over at your budgets, for the wedding and for your life, and you simply cannot make it work. Or what else gets in the way? Life. Be honest, be upfront and sincere. "Jenny, I'm so sorry and so heartbroken to do this last minute but unfortunately due to financial struggles I will not be able to stand in your wedding." If she is truly your friend, she will understand.
One last note, if you know in your heart that you are not in a place financially to partake in a friends wedding, do not agree to do so. There's no shame in calling the kettle black, if you aren't in a place to spend money freely, that's okay. You can still go to the wedding! I hope this helps anyone planning a wedding or trying to find insight of how much it should cost you, and remember the root of the matter; you're getting married, you want the people you love to be by your side, so make it affordable!
