Step one towards loving oneself: Stay away from stupid boys.
It wasn't until today that I finally came to the realization that willpower has a lot more to do with other situations than it has to do with dieting.
Whenever I'm pursuing a new eating "lifestyle" (aka a new diet), restraint is a huge factor when it comes to success. So, what do my friends tell me every time I want some chocolate cake instead of the dehydrated carrots in my backpack? They say to me, "Willpower. Have willpower." I smile, they smile. I reach into my backpack for my yummy carrots.
They shove the freaking chocolate cake into their mouths. I mean, why eat chocolate cake when you can have carrots?
So yes, willpower has almost everything to do with dieting. But where is willpower every time a stupid guy gives me attention? Where is willpower before I fall for that stupid guy who leads me on? Where is willpower when I need to be stopped from texting that stupid boy back, who is just going to hurt me in the end?
Where is willpower when I really need it?
Some days I feel OK being independent; I feel strong and like I can do anything at all. I wake up feeling great about myself. Looking in the mirror, thinking that today I am curvy and not fat. I dress up nicely because I feel worthy for once. These days, I am happy. Those are the days I feel less alone.
I love feeling happy and confident. It's the way I should feel all the time.
Unfortunately, consistency within this feeling is nearly impossible. I'm happy until I'm not. I'm happy until that attractive guy comes into my life and gives me the time of day, making me realize that my feeling of joy was really just an illusion of temporary happiness. When you want something so badly that you convince yourself it's great. Happiness is what you want so you make it what you need. You make that stupid boy who gives you attention the reason for your happiness. So when that stupid boy leaves you alone once again, you become sad all over again, back to the same place you were before. The worst part? You were single the whole time.
Stay single while staying happy instead of falling into this trap, convincing yourself that other temporary things or people will fix the way you feel about yourself.
