I Will Learn To Say No

I Will Learn To Say No

"It's only by saying 'no' that you can concentrate on the things that are really important." -Steve Jobs
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“Want to go get drinks after class?”

“I can’t tonight, I’m broke.”

“C’mon just one drink? For me?”

“I’m not sure, I have class in the morning…”

“Please? It’s been forever, I miss you.”

“Fine, but just one.”

Three margaritas and $24 later, and what is left besides a slight buzz, more credit card debt, and a late assignment?


I am a victim of frequent yes syndrome. I never say no, extra shifts at work? Sure, why not? Want to go grab a bite to eat? Of course! Join another committee? Put me on that list. Neflix and chill? I’ll bring the popcorn! And then at the end of the week when I have a -$7 balance in my bank account and 11 different meetings I’m suppose to attend I sit and wonder to myself, “How did this even happen?”. While my brain, who just so happens to be tired of my never-ending poor decisions, screams back, “Because you are always agreeing to do what everyone says!”

It’s not that I don’t like working or being involved or trying to maintain my social life, I have got to stop doing it at everyone else’s convenience, instead of my own. I am stretching myself so thin because I want to make everyone (including myself) happy, but that happiness is always short-lived. I try so desperately to cling to the things like going out on the weekends with my friends and getting involved on campus, because I am afraid of losing one or all of them. It is my biggest fear. So much so, that whenever someone asks me to hangout or volunteer with them, I immediately agree, regardless if I have the time and money. I justify this to myself by saying that I’m a senior and I will regret not doing these things, plus it will look good on a resume later in life; but in all reality, I might be missing out on something I could regret not doing even more, like spending time at home with the people that love me.

So, starting today I need to learn to say no. I will say no, so I can finish that paper I’ve been putting off for days now. I will say no, so I can finally have time for the gym again. I will say no, so I can binge watch Gilmore Girls all night while eating frozen yogurt out of the carton. I will say no, so I can go home and visit my family and lay in bed with my puppies. I will start saying no for my sanity, I will start saying no for myself. I’m not going to worry about the cute boy at the bar or the opportunities I might be missing out on there. I will live in the moment and only focus on what is going on in the here and now. I will learn to say no and I will become empowered, because I am the only one who controls my life and I need to start acting like it.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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You've Heard Of 'How To Be Single,' But Let's Talk About 'How To Be Romantic'

For some of us, it takes work to be cutesy and romantic.

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Okay, I'm probably the least romantic person anyone has ever met. Not to say that I'm a bad girlfriend or that I'm not caring. I just find love in simple things like knowing what to order for them at restaurants, doing their laundry, planning unique dates, or cooking for them. It's not that I'm opposed to being arduous, I've just never been a chocolate and flowers kind of girl. I'm more of a Mongolian hot pot and "let's walk across the Brooklyn Bridge!" kind of girl. I appreciate some effort, tailoring something to fit a person's idiosyncratic personality or general spontaneity, not how flowery something looks. Not saying that I'm not feminine, I'm just my own entity, so to speak, and that translates into my love life. Needless to say, I thought I should learn how the other half lives, so I've challenged myself to take a course on being a classic/hopeless romantic just to understand how others think and who knows I might change some of my habits!

1. Leave notes

I think it's a really cute and simple idea that I will try to do because it makes everything very personal.

2. Write them a poem

I've had this done for me but I've never actually done it, because believe it or not, I didn't like to read or write poems up until this year.

3. Cuddling

Okay, so I'm not a cuddler, I have no idea why — it's more or less a personal space and attachment issue, I guess. I love hugs though! I guess I just have to be in the mood to cuddle and at times I can be. Other times it just makes me nervous.

4. Dedicate a song to them on the radio

It seems like the people on the radio that do this are crazy in love and honestly, to be able to have the ability to go on the radio and just declare your love for someone else is really inspiring.

5. Surprise them!

I personally cannot stand surprises, but I love to surprise other people and just be spontaneous, so I sort of do this already.

6. Carve your names into a tree

I've thought about doing this, but I've never got around to it, so I promise one day I will.

7. Go see a romantic movie

Nope, nope, I'll barf! Not happening, strictly horror movies for this girl, sorry!

8. Make them a care package

See, this makes me think a lot about what really defines romantic, because I do this all the time, but I don't consider it romantic, I just think it's sweet.

9. Take a walk on the beach together

I've done this, but I have to be doing this while looking for seashells or I feel like I'll be bored.

10. Make a CD for them

"THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER," CHARLIE IS QUAKING.

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