9 Essential Things Every Wife Should Know About Her Husband
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9 Essential Things Every Wife Should Know About Her Husband

Why it's equally important for women to understand men as it is for them to understand us.

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9 Essential Things Every Wife Should Know About Her Husband
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Let's be honest, there is undeniable truth in the saying, "Women are from Venus and men are from Mars." The fact is that, no matter how hard we try to ignore our differences, those differences will always surface and manage to drive us apart--but only if we let them.

After a solid beginning to my own marriage, I quickly came to realize that the man I married is a confusing, complicated and wonderful human being. You'd have thought I'd already known that, right? Ha, wrong.

For any other young wives out there, here is a list of nine things I've either learned about my husband or about my marriage. Some lessons came with tears, others with smiles, but either way my marriage became stronger for it. I'll start with the easy ones!

1. Understand what he likes, but more importantly, why he likes those things.

I know my husband likes cut-up hot dogs with pretzel stick skewers. Simple enough, right? But I know that he likes them because his father used to make him that dish when he was little and he has fond memories tied to that hilariously simple dish.

It's one thing to know what your spouse likes, it's another to understand why they love what they do. Cut-up hot dogs are a part of my husband's soul. Never thought I'd ever write that.

2. There's value in the old adage "patience is a virtue."

Especially when it comes to your husband. You'll flit through the dating and early marriage phase with few problems (well, maybe) but then you start to notice you do things differently. A prime example for me is how my husband and I differ in doing dishes.

When I say, "do the dishes" I mean hand-wash the pots and pans that don't go in the dishwasher, put away any clean dishes and completely load everything that can be loaded. Comically, my husband's version of "doing the dishes" was quite different.

He'd either do all the hand-washing or all the loading and unloading, but never both. It came to a head when I realized that we do the same thing differently. I also noticed that I started knit-picking when I was tempted to correct how he was loading the dishwasher. But, here's the thing, he was loading it. I realized that, just because we do something differently, doesn't make either of us right or wrong.

3. I learned that it's important to provide a home, for both yourself and your husband.

Proverbs 14:1 tells us that, "The wise woman builds her house but with her own hands the foolish ones tears it down." I didn't realize the value of taking care of my home until my husband commented, one day, that without me there wouldn't be pictures on the walls, dusting would be a foreign concept, and he'd eat nothing but ramen noodles and mac n' cheese.

However, without him, I'd struggle with getting items off tall shelves, would have little idea how to fix the water heater when it gives out and would dread having to get my oil changed. We each have our roles. I am proud to build a comfortable home my husband and I.

4. Trust and rely on him.

Ephesians 5:21 says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." The truth is that men want to be trusted with our most vulnerable, fearful insecurities. It empowers them on a level that I can't relate to, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have value. My husband wants me to confide in him, and to trust him enough to show everything I am to him, good and bad. Likewise, I want him to confide in me.

That's where we tend to hit a roadblock. In general, it seems that men are more reluctant to show their weaknesses than women. I've had to learn how to coax true, insecure feelings from my husband. But I can't say that he isn't learning, patience combined with gentle persistence has brought us closer as a couple.

5. Hear what he tries to say.

Let's face it, men and women talk differently, but only that, we hear differently as well. My husband is one of the sweetest men to ever live and showers me with loving pet-names all hours of the day. At one time, his particular favorites were "wifey" and "beauty".

Well, one day when I was leaving for work, I kissed him on the forehead while he was still in bed. He mumbled something unintelligible and then something along the lines of, "I love you my beefy." My first instinct was to recoil and reprimand him for calling me fat. But then I thought sensibly. He'd mistakenly combined his favorite pet names "wifey" and "beauty" whilst half-asleep.

We laugh about that now but he always tells me how thankful he is that I didn't lose my mind. Cut your man some slack. Sometimes he misspeaks. We owe it to each other to be understanding.

6. He will fail you and you will fail him, accept it as part of marriage.

It's disappointing when you either fail your spouse or they fail you. Whether it be a minuscule issue like forgetting to fold the laundry or a larger issue like being financially irresponsible, failure will haunt your marriage.

What matters is how we handle each other's failures and/or shortcomings. I regularly fail my husband in that I'm still learning to recognize when he needs encouragement vs. tough love. It's a learning curve that I'm still trying to pinpoint and understand, not only for him but for us both.

Understand that failure is a part of life, and subsequently marriage, but to have a failure in marriage is far different from having a failing marriage.

7. This point isn't so much something I've learned, but something I've striven for ever since our marriage.

Proverbs 12:4 tells us that, "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones." What does that mean? In short, shine for your husband. Be the best you can be for him, not because he will always deserve it, but because that is what God has charged you.

We have a responsibility as wives to be our best selves for our husbands, we are to be the jewels of their existence, not the bane of them.

8.Respect him.

Let me say that again, respect him. Oh, did you not hear that? I'll say it one more time, respect him! This is a difficult issue for many women. You might be grumbling to yourself, "Well he doesn't deserve my respect." Here's the funny thing, it isn't about what they deserve. It is about what the Lord of Heaven and Earth commands.

Ephesians 5:33 says, "Husbands love your wives and wives respect your husbands." Does that mean women only need love and men only need respect? No, that would be ridiculous. However, God did create men to savor respect and women to savor love. If you'd like some more information on this point, visit https://store.loveandrespect.com/.

9. Love unconditionally.

In all honesty, that should be marriage in a nutshell. Love your husband regardless of what your feelings are screaming at you. Love him in his greatest failures, his greatest insecurities, and his greatest shortcomings. You might be thinking that that will turn you into a doormat. No, no.

God did not design us as women to be doormats, but to be vibrant and loving in the presence of the men we love. I'll be honest, this isn't always easy. There have been more times than I can count that I wanted to withhold some portion of my love, whether it be misunderstandings or disappointments, but I had to remind myself to love unconditionally.

If I look over this list in ten years, I hope that it isn't exactly the same. That means I'm not growing as a wife and partner to my husband. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint and I'm looking forward to the journey with my running partner.

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