If you have ever seen a movie about college life in America, you are undoubtedly familiar with the Greek life stereotypes: the beautiful girls and perfectly chiseled boys with more friends than they can count and more parties than they can attend. Growing up in the South, Greek life has always been on the radar. The girls and boys that you looked up to your entire life come back with Greek letters emblazoned on their cars, T-shirts and any surface capable of holding them. I never would have imagined that I would decide not to rush a sorority once my own school’s Rush came around, but that is exactly what I did.
As my roommate, suitemates and nearly all of my friends pressed through the Rush process during the first week back to school, I became the girl that everyone confided in about it. Since I was not participating in it, they felt that they could be honest with me about it in a different way than any of their friends who were, and this afforded me the chance to get a peek inside without having any personal bias.
Watching and listening as the girls cut and got cut by houses was different for each girl. Each morning, they would dress themselves up and go to the houses, and I would pop in my headphones and go for a run, hoping that I had made the right decision in not giving the system a shot. Now, nearly two months after Bid Day, I am more sure than ever that I made the right decision. The right decision for me. The right decision for where I stand in my life now.
I learned that Greek life is not as superficial as the movies, Instagram accounts and hype videos make it out to be.
Yes, there are people involved in Greek life that allow it to consume their entire lives, but there are many students involved in the organizations that balance their Greek involvement with the rest of their lives very well.
Just because someone is in a sorority or a fraternity does not mean that they are above you, nor does it mean that they think they are above you.
That being said, there certainly are members of Greek organizations who believe that the letters they wear do make them better in some way than those students who do not participate in Greek life, or than students in different sororities or fraternities than they are in.
What we tend to forget is that automatically assuming that a girl is nice because she is in Chi O is just as ignorant as assuming she is stuck up for being involved in a social sorority.
Judging someone based on their fraternity or sorority is ridiculous, whether in a positive or negative light.
The letters that you wear do not mean that you are nicer, cooler, prettier, smarter or more interesting than anybody else. They mean that you found a group of people that you get along with and that you enjoy sharing your company with, nothing more and nothing less.
But more than importantly than learning about Greek life, in opting out of Rush, I learned about myself. I realized that the only reason I had wanted to join a sorority in the first place was because of the infamous FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out. I hadn’t really wanted to spend over a thousand dollars on an activity that I wouldn’t be able to commit enough time to or fully enjoy due to my other obligations.
As fun as all of it looked, I knew that the only reason that I had wanted to join was because I didn’t want to miss out on date parties, Big/Little activities, sisterhood events and the possibilities of meeting new girls. This isn’t to say that those things are not worth the money or that they aren’t fun, but I knew that for me, I simply did not have the time to add a social sorority to my already over-flowing schedule.
In the weeks since my friends have picked their sororities (or settled back into life after deciding not to join one), I have also realized that my fears of missing out were almost entirely unnecessary.
I didn’t lose a single friend after Rush; in fact, I made dozens of new friends through connections that my friends who had gone Greek were making.
I was invited to events held by almost every sorority on campus and watched as my friends excitedly found their Bigs.
I had been honest with myself. “Now” was simply not the right time in my life for me to join a social sorority.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like them, it wasn’t that a part of me didn’t want to be in one. I simply knew that right here and right now, I had other things in my life that needed more of my focus, focus that I would not be able to give if I had rushed.
I left the possibility of rushing my sophomore year open, knowing that next semester I could be able to add a sorority to my plate.
So never judge anyone based on their letters or their lack thereof. Membership in a Greek organization doesn’t define you and neither does opting out. Being Greek is awesome and being “GDI” is awesome too; both can help you to express yourself and to figure out who you are.
Whether you sport Greek letters or festival T-shirts, make sure that you are doing so for you.
Join a fraternity or sorority because you believe that this organization makes you happy, that it makes you a better person, that it is something that you know is right for your life in this moment, today.
