"You've got your cousins, then your first cousins, then your second cousins," as the saying goes, according to "Mean Girls." Regardless, no matter the degree of relation, cousins are going to be your best friends through the various curves that life decides to throw your way. Your day ones, your OG amigos, literally your friend from birth until death: cousins can't be beat. Here is why.
1. You all survived your awkward years together.
Let's get this one out of the way: We all go through an awkward phase. No matter how long that phase lasts or how rough it can get (for me, it was hitting puberty early, with a massive pimple in the center of my face beneath my lip, an awkwardly low voice and long hair that I thought was cool). Through the thick locks that rested atop my pimply face, I could always hang out with my cousins and never feel judged. We've all been there, and to the young cousins, you'll get there, too. You've always got us to lean on when life seems to really be kicking you in the face.
2. You guys pray that there's a decent group of you at each family party.
You're in the car, fast approaching another party that you may or may not want to go to. You ask your parents, "Hey, is (insert cousin's name) going to be thrtr?" The next tense moment in which the silence is killing you stretches on forever until finally, one of them says, "Yes." Relief sets in and the party's going to be good again.
3. You make your own traditions.
Our big tradition started before most of us in the photo above were even born. One cold, late-winter night, a few of the veterans decided to walk across a frozen lake in Wisconsin to a bar for a drink. Although my grandmother wasn't entirely pleased, 20 years later, we still carry on this tradition. Every February, the whole group of us gather in Twin Lakes, Wisconsin, in order to walk across Lake Mary, bar hopping as a group. "But Neil," you're thinking, "you just turned 21." To set a sort of context, there was one year in which we had strollers lined up outside of one of the bars; all are welcome, and drinks stay for those of age. There have been many that fall ill, a few spills on the ice and a gray turkey or two, but we still follow our Fathers' footsteps on the Pinkiterod year after year.
4. Even if it's weird to others, it's still funny to you.
So maybe you think it'd be really cool to wear children's super hero costumes to a midnight premiere of "Captain America" Well, guess what? You're right. Except when you walk into the theater and someone from the back shouts, "No one even likes Johnny Storm!" We all got a good laugh out of it and enjoyed the film.
We made movies like "Let's Talk Jailbirds," "The Therapy Channel" and the dismal "Kim Octopus." Three of us tried making that without our ring leader and the source of our cinematic comedy, but I digress. Anyway, there may or may not have been a time where I was assigned the role of the gnome from the future who could only say "tickle." I'm not saying it happened, but if it did, we all thought it was funny at the time. We can look back and laugh now, but we also know that those movies can never see the light of day.
5. You're there for each other in hard times.
This year, my grandfather passed in November and my grandmother passed in March. Needless to say, it hasn't been an easy year. However, the night of my grandpa's wake, all of the cousins went to Maria's restaurant next door for some margaritas and some super decent Mexican cuisine. Later, we all sat around a booth that we had taken from a restaurant that my uncle used to own, but now sits in my cousin's basement: We reminisced, rocked out to some Fleetwood Mac and coined the phrase "cuzzy warriors." More on that to come.
6. You make TBT so much easier for one another.
I mean, you have an endless arsenal of adorable and hysterical pictures spanning across the entirety of your lifetime. Whether it's pushpops for breakfast or a trip across the globe, the pictures are prime. Throwin' it back with the cousins is really the best way to go about it.
7. You can spend more than two days together and not hurt one another.
Cuzzies Weekend 2015: Aristocat-Nap, cousin's pyramid, reminiscing and pulling off a cousin's caper or two. Whether it's as fun as our cousin's weekend last summer, it's just a few days together or an extended period of time, cousins are roommates that never get annoying. You guys can always find something to talk about, you can always find something fun to do and there's always shenanigans to be had. We ended it all with a solid couple of hours in which we jammed out to old music and talked about family secrets that may, or more likely may not, have been true.
8. You have them everywhere.
Ireland, Tanzania, New Mexico, the Midwest: My family really likes to span the globe. However far they may be, as pictured above with my Irish relatives, we still get to see each other. Whether it be for a brief time, a Skype date or just an email, keeping in touch with cousins abroad is always fun. It's even more fun to visit, made even more fun when the hosts are incredibly gracious, impossibly kind and all around some of the best people in the world. Family is everywhere and family is important. Never forget it.
9. You can't live without 'em. Period.
Yes, you may take up the whole balcony on Christmas Eve mass. Yes, you may have recently joined the extended family's "12 Bars of Christmas." However, you would also never trade even the smallest of moments that you've spent with each and every one of them.
Love your family. Be best friends. Be best cousins.
Be best cousins who are also best friends.
