I was scrolling through twitter and one thing led to another—I was twitter stalking. I know, I’m sorry. But what I’m even more sorry for is what I stumbled across in a misguided, twenty-something’s bio. It read “Your 20s are your selfish years.” I was surprised when I first read it but I absolutely shouldn’t have been. This mindset seems to be the Generation-Y cultural norm.

Since when did being selfish become admirable?

I would venture to say that most of us as children were taught by our parents to share our toys and that stinginess wasn’t a sweet quality to encompass when playing with our friends. Now we’re being told "take care of yourself" and "get your hands on whatever your heart wants in order to have true happiness." So who was wrong? Our parents or culture?

Culture says your twenties should be centered around your desires, hopes and dreams. You can spend your time how you’d like, you can invest in yourself financially however you please and you can date anyone you choose to date. This sounds logical, right? To an extent, yes. However, without discernment, these harmless things become the reason for your selfish outlook (i.e. misguided, twenty-something’s twitter bio).

We’ve all heard it before, “too much of a good thing can become a bad thing.” This often isn’t considered a personal issue until you’re told that this article actually is applicable to you (what a relief that something is). When you begin prioritizing your desires over your obligations as a moral being, not only do you withhold valuable investments into the lives of others, you withhold the reward of fulfillment from yourself.

I know personally I do not always enjoy spending time with my family. I do not particularly enjoy watching a baseball game with my dad when I come home after a long day. My selfish heart would rather fill my bathtub up with water and lavender bath salts and listen to Bon Iver as I plan out how my next day will be spent utilizing every spare minute of “me time.” Unfortunately, it’s not about me and I’m only slightly sorry for my tone, but listen: it’s not about you either.

When you realize your time, money, energy and health are all gifts and because of even your selfish heart alone you don’t deserve them, you’re much more willing to be selfless because you see what’s been gifted to you.

Another way culture tricks us into believing that our twenties are our selfish years is by excusing anything having to do with experimentation. Drugs, reckless spending—this list could go on. There’s a difference in experimenting with something adventurous you’ve never done for the sole purpose of telling the story later or trying something new to experience culture shock and when you get into things that are illegal or life-threatening. In this case it’s no longer experimentation—it’s absurdity. It’s affecting not only you, but your job, your family, anyone dealing with your situation and your identity.

This isn’t so much tangible selfishness as it is a selfish mindset. We don’t necessarily struggle in the same sense of selfishness as we did when we were once children. Its far, far worse. If you don’t recognize your selfishness in your twenties, the rest of your life will be affected. And not only your immediate life, but your selfishness will grow and it will be recognizable. Selfishness is one of the strongest urges to be fought against but similarly to what Tim Keller, Pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC, says, once you recognize the problem, half of the problem is fixed.

Jimmy Banks, the youth pastor from Praise Church spoke about a deceitful heart a few weeks ago. He said, “some of the worst advice culture can give us it to follow our hearts.” The legitimacy of this message is surreal. Scripture says that the heart is deceitful above all else. If I followed my heart, I would do what I wanted, when I wanted at the expense of whoever was standing in my way. I would say hurtful things, I would be deceitful and naturally, I would allow this selfishness to control every thing I did. But once you and I understand this, we no longer have to listen to what our hearts say. We don’t have to allow your habitual selfishness to lead us.

We all have an innate selfishness. I do, you do, Tim Keller does, but it’s what we do with our selfishness that allows for complete deterioration of our Godly characteristics, or the riddance of our pride that will in-turn affect our self-absorbed culture. Don’t let selfishness define your 20s, 50s or 80s. We’re called to be in the world but not of it. We do not have to be defined by what is perceived to be a “cultural norm.”

Do for yourself but most importantly, do for others. It's not about you. It never was.