If you're in your twenties, you probably avoid going on Facebook due to the fact that as soon as you click the "go" button, an influx of proposals, wedding pictures, and life events changing to "engaged," will take over your newsfeed. You might even come across the occasional sonogram. Now these are all exciting, but if you're like me, and have been single for what seems like forever, that warm and fuzzy feeling is most likely followed by a reaction that is more along the lines of cold and prickly. Not only that, but you probably feel like you're going to be single for the rest of your life, because if someone good hasn't come around by now, no one will, right?
Not only are we bombarded with other people's relationships, but it is also becoming the perception that a person has to be in a relationship to be happy. Relationships are broadcasted all over media from every outlet, whether it's "relationship goals" on Instagram, Tumblr couples, or the unrealistic, but oh-so-addicting Nicholas Sparks films. Even though it seems like the only way to be happy in today's world is to have the perfect significant other, it is absolutely not. Here are five things that you need to remember when you find yourself no so happy about your relationship status.
1. Your value as a person does not depend on whether or not you have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
As shocking as it might be, that statement is 100 percent the truth! You are no less of a person than someone that is in a relationship. Just because you haven't found someone to love, doesn't mean that you are unworthy of love, or that you're any less lovable than the person next to you. It just means that you haven't found the person that you trust with such strong feelings.
2. If you aren't happy with yourself at the moment, then you aren't ready to be in a relationship anyway.
If you're not happy with yourself, then why would you be happy with someone else? Your happiness starts within, and being in a relationship will not doing anything for you besides add to your inner turmoil. Trust me, you want to find what makes you happy before you go and try to make other people happy. Not only that, but you attract what you are. If you're an unhappy person, you're going to attract unhappy people. If you're a manipulative person, you're going to attract manipulative people. So do yourself a favor, and focus on yourself to find out what you truly want, and what your life is lacking, because that will completely flip your life upside down (in a good way).
3. Why do you want to be in a relationship?
If the answer is because you need someone to buy you pumpkin spice lattés, then you need to do some serious re-evaluation. It's sad, because when I go on social media, nowadays, I see people from both genders saying things like "I need a boyfriend that will buy me _____," or "I need a girlfriend that looks like _____." The materialism that goes on within relationships is completely ridiculous. Don't get me wrong, I love when I get gifts! However, there is a difference between liking gifts, and expecting them from your significant other. That is not what a relationship is about, and I think many people a forgetting that.
4. There is a reason that it didn't work out with the others, and one day a person will come along and show you exactly why.
Oh, yeah, I brought out that cliché. It's true, though! You have to go through your fair share of dating before you know what it is you truly want in your partner. Yes, it sucks when it doesn't work out with someone, but it sucks just as bad when you stay with a person that could be a toxic influence in you life.
5. Don't let yourself settle for someone just because you feel a little lonely.
If your guys' idea of a date is sending you a text at 8 p.m. that says, "netflix and chill?" you better be on to the next one, because that is not a date. That is what we call a bootycall, my friends. You can do that as a date when you're in an established relationship. Go out for coffee, or you could even go on a hike. Do something that you both want to do, and simply enjoy each other's company, because sitting in a dark room with a screen in front of you is not the right way to get to know someone.
Just remember, you don't need to be in a relationship to be happy, despite what today's culture leads us to believe. There's no harm in enjoying the single life!
