Could you imagine returning home from a long trip expecting to see your loved ones only to uncover that you won't be seeing their great smile and warm embrace ever again?
Death is not an easy pill to swallow, but it is the path of life we are all bound to take. In comparison to humans, our pets are the friends we choose to make a part of our families. They love us unconditionally and don't require anything more than our love in return. Sometimes we leave pets in the care of others and hope to see them when we return, but at times things change and no one informs us. There is an argument on whether family members ought to inform the passing of a pet to their loved ones while they're gone. Some say it will decrease the amount of total suffering, while others argue that not doing so is cruel and prevents them from being able to mourn.
I was in the unfortunate situation where my family had hidden my dog's worsening health problems and death. It was only after I returned home from college was I given the news. She had been dead for a week. I was aware that she was sick before I left, but my parents informed me that she was getting better. The truth was that she was far from okay. She had become too weak to walk or eat and it hurt my parents to watch her suffer that way. After several attempts were made to improve her health with no success, they decided to let her go. She was put to sleep and cremated. Her remains were never brought back to me.
As a proud mother of two beautiful dogs, I had imagined myself heading home and seeing my two precious joys of my life running towards me with their excitement in their tails and their faces. Now, it felt as if I had been robbed of something precious. I was angry at my parents as to why they had not informed me about my dog's health condition. It tore me up inside that I had nothing left of hers to hold onto except for a few photographs and memories. It ate me up on the inside thinking she left this world alone, perhaps wondering where her mom was and why she didn't come back.
It's important to communicate with your loved ones of tragedies such as this with honesty. When it comes to delivering bad news, save yourself the idea that withholding the truth will help. If the death was unforeseeable and immediate, explain what happened and ask them how they would like the body to be disposed of. If it looks like the pet will have to be put down, invite them to be a part of the decision. To soften the blow to devastating news, it is best to prepare the individual(s) on how their pet is doing and the likelihood that it will turn for the worst. They will uncover the truth about their death someday soon. Hiding it only works to delay the pain. It may even increase it, depending on what was missed because of it.
There will be things we wish we could have said or done before they left this world. Letting go is harder to accomplish when guilt is attached to their memory.
