I strongly believe that everyone has a soulmate, and you shouldn't have to settle for anything less. You deserve all the love and care in the world. You should not settle because you deserve true happiness. There is someone out there waiting and willing to give you the whole world. Settling is comfortable and safe. Settling is lowering your standards because the thought of being alone is too painful. Loneliness pours out a sense of vulnerability that terrifies people. I say let yourself be vulnerable. Revel in your loneliness and vulnerability. It makes waiting for your person that much better. It lets you look yourself in the mirror and reflect. It lets you work on being the best version of yourself. By settling, you are giving up a part of yourself. You are sacrificing your own happiness to the societal pressures of having to be in a relationship. When you settle, you stop striving to become your absolute best.
I will admit not being in a relationship when everyone else around you is, is hard. When your family calls you and asks how your dating life is and you reply that you're still single and then they proceed to ask the "tough" questions: are you a Lesbian? There is nothing wrong with being a Lesbian, but just because I'm not in a relationship doesn't mean I identify that way. I choose not to settle, I choose myself. So I could learn how to love myself. So I could learn how I deserved to be treated. How can I let someone try and love me when I don't even know how to love myself? By not settling, which I could have easily done, I have learned how to be in a relationship with myself and to love myself. I have learned how to live. I was so focused on what guys would think of me and not what I thought of myself. I let myself go and found myself again. I am here waiting. Waiting for the right guy to come along to sweep me off of my feet. Waiting for the right person to finally chase after me.
If you ever listen closely to your parent's advice, you may find that what they are saying actually means something. After getting into conversations with my dad about relationships, (if it was his way, I wouldn't even be allowed near boys) there was one thing he said that has always resonated with me "you don't ever chase after the guy, the guy chases after you." Since that very moment, I have refused to chase after a guy. And you should too. You are a prize. You are worth more than you would ever think. Don't make it easy because you are worth fighting for.
Would you settle for an organization that doesn't truly make you happy? No. So why settle for a guy that is just there to pass the time, who doesn't make you the happiest person alive? Take a step back. Reflect on your relationship whether it be with a significant other or yourself. Ask yourself am I settling? Be completely real with yourself and whatever you answer is let that person go or hold them tight. Letting go of someone can lead you to find some part of yourself you never knew existed.
