Ah, summer: sunshine and beaches, long days and adventure-filled nights. What could be better? Well, winter. Obviously. It’s a joyous time of freezing your ass off under gloriously grey skies. There’s countless benefits to this, the most underrated of seasons, a few of which I’ll share with you here.
Getting dressed.
As you spend 20 minutes piling on your hat, gloves, scarf, and parka before walking out the door you’ll have plenty of time to contemplate your entire life in all its glory. Then, when you’re back from whatever adventure you left on, you’ll have time to do it all over again!
Family time.
Ah, winter break. An entire month to return to our childhood homes and enjoy a well-earned breather from papers and exams. And you know what you can do with all this time? Visit your family! Don’t you miss your great aunt pinching your cheeks and your crazy uncle who has one too many drinks every Christmas? And, of course, you can’t forget your parents. Nothing brings me more joy than giving up the independence of college in exchange for curfews and household chores! What could be better than being locked in a house with your family as the snow (or sleet or ice) pours down from the sky?
Hot drinks.
There are few things more comforting than sitting down with a mug of something steamy. It warms your hands and heart, and when you go to take a sip, you’ll inevitable scorch your entire mouth.
The ground is your new best friend.
Perhaps the greatest feeling -- found only in the winter -- is when you slip and fall on a patch of ice and suddenly become intimately acquainted with the ground. I always miss this much-needed bonding time during the summer months, when I stay upright while walking.
Saving on cosmetics.
There’s no need to buy blush in the winter. Just go outside in the bitter cold for a few minutes and your cheeks will have that lovely, bright red glow you’ve always wanted! This perfect beauty cure works for men, women, and children alike! But it doesn’t stop there: you can also save on deodorant. Just be sure to keep wearing your summer clothes all year round. Then, rather than sweating, you’ll just freeze! Hypothermia ignored, your wallet will be fuller than ever.
Nascar training.
If you want to fulfill your childhood dream of becoming a race-car driver, winter is for you. Just take a spin on ice-covered roads to hone your skills by spinning out of control, sliding through intersections, and, if you’re really talented, rocketing straight into the ditch.
You’ll get your zzzs.
Dark = Night. Night = Sleep. Therefore, when it’s dark from 5 at night to 7 in the morning, we all get 14 hours of sleep. Guaranteed.
Did you have to go somewhere after 5 p.m.? Oh, I’m sorry. Turn on your headlights and deal with it.
As you can see, there’s simply no end to the joys which winter will bring you! When that dreaded spring comes, we will all be forced to wait until winter comes back again.
