At 18 years old, we are expected to plan out the beginning of the rest of our lives. We go from asking permission to go the bathroom to choosing a major and a college in what feels like seconds. These are huge decisions to make and the pressure is on to get them right the first time around. An information session here, a college tour there and then finally acceptance letters to aid in the choice of where to spend the next four years of our lives. It is a big deal and to feel like you are not in the right place can be extremely frustrating. You spend so much time adjusting to this new environment that packing up and doing it all over again seems about as terrifying as it can get. This is what I wanted, though. A fresh start and a chance to feel truly happy again.

Or so I thought.

Not many people know that I tried to transfer schools after my freshman year of college. I told one or two friends but mainly kept it a secret to avoid all the questions that would inevitably come my way. Deciding to leave your school is a big decision and one that comes with a million ifs, ands and buts. Will my credits transfer? Does my major allow transfer? What if I can't find a roommate? What if the new school doesn't work out either? And on and on and on. It's really just one big hassle. If you have never gone through it consider yourself lucky.

When I told my parents they were just as confused as I was. I had ended my first semester of college 0.05 points shy of a 4.0 GPA. I made a lot of new friends and my social media posts definitely made me look happy. But I wasn't. At least I wasn't when the spring semester started. When I moved back to school that January something had changed. I felt on edge and unhappy. Trivial things made me angry I began looking for every and any excuse to transfer. There was a list of reasons to leave that constantly replayed in my head. Tuition is too high, the school is too small, I don't like the area, etc. I thought about it so much that I eventually made myself miserable. It was an unhealthy way to live so I started to call admission counselors and fill out applications. This was my ticket out and I just had to use it.

Fast forward two years later, and I am still at my original school happy as a clam. Two of the schools I tried to apply to did not allow outside transfer so I would have had to start all over and the other two did not have guaranteed acceptance into my major which wasn't exactly comforting. I begrudgingly made the choice to stay and thought this is what college would look like for the next three years. Great. I spent the summer before sophomore year thinking about this choice and slowly realized the problem wasn't the school. It was me. I was making up excuses and actively looking for reasons to live. I wasn't trying to make things work and I for sure was not trying to make myself happy. I made myself hate a place I now call home.

Looking back on it stress played a major factor on how I felt. School became drastically harder during the spring semester and it was clearly a difficult adjustment to make. Everything I loved about my school that first semester was still there, I just couldn't enjoy it as much with all the work I had to do. When sophomore year rolled around I knew how to better manage my stress and never again questioned if I was in the right place. I joined clubs, made more friends, and in the fall I start clinical at one of the best children's hospital in the country. How many people can say that? And all because I changed my attitude and gave my first school a second chance. Yes, some schools are not a good match for certain people but look at the full picture first and remember that sometimes all you need is a second chance.