Humans need humans. Humans need love. Humans love love.
Who doesn't want to be cuddled, coddled and kissed, showered with flowers, love notes and wrapped candies? Get all dressed up and go on picture perfect little adventures? And conversely, who doesn't want to take off their makeup, pull on pajamas and jump into bed for a night of video games and pizza? I know I do.
But did you know there are even more benefits of flouncing away into a fairytale? Like helping your economy, avoiding your friends and lowering your standards? Here's a comprehensive list of even more reasons to get in the dating game.
1. Contribute to capitalism!
All of those little gifts you buy for each other? All those movie tickets, dinner dates and road trips? Tally that up, and be amazed by the figures! You and your loved one have surely boosted the economy with your frivolous spending! Good for you!
2. Waste time!
Got priorities? Jobs, schoolwork, hobbies, scheduled arrangements with other people? Well, if you've found the love of your life, then who cares? Procrastination doesn't matter when it comes to procreation!
3. Dabble in co-dependence!
Lacking in self-reliance? Enjoy an unhealthy absorption with another human being. Forego your independence and ambition while allowing your self-preservation skills to crumble! People are simply incomplete until they find their other half.
4. Perpetuate gender roles!
Subject yourself to unrealistic and outdated standards of what it means to be masculine and / or feminine. Down with the ambiguity of androgyny! Adhere to stiff social cues!
5. Become emotionally traumatized!
Thought you could trust someone? That love was unconditional and everlasting? Well, think again! Enjoy navigating a bracing river of jealousy, doubt, pain and more!
6. Disappoint your family, your peers and yourself!
The heart wants what the heart wants, right? Ignore a concerned slew of, "You can do better," "They're not good enough for you," and "That's not going to last." Trust your own judgment and follow your dreams!
7. Lower your self-esteem!
Become dependent on someone else's opinion to improve your mood! Devote countless hours to beautification and hygiene, only to not receive a passing glance or even a compliment. Shackle yourself to impossible standards and destructive rationalizations!
8. Down with polyamory!
Repress our biological predisposition even more than we already do in modern society by practicing monogamy. Support possessiveness, infidelity and ultimately devolution!
