If there is one concept in this world that I do not understand, it is the idea of slut-shaming. I'm not saying I am not guilty of judging another female on her sexual choices, but I can admit it is wrong of me to participate in such an act. If women are going to be so firm on the idea of equality among men and women, we can't be tearing each other down at the same time. This simply allows men to think that since we do it to each other, it is okay for them to treat us the same way.
The idea of slut shaming another women is prominent among young girls today, especially those in high school. There was a conversation I walked in on while I was at work that shocked me. One of the young girls was asked what she would think of a girl who had three or more sexual partners in a year. She immediately, without missing a beat, said that the girl would be a slut. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This stung because in the eyes of this young girl who I considered a friend, I was a "slut". However, I had never before thought that there was anything wrong with my sex life.
This is only one example of how women slut shame each other. Listen in on any hushed conversation between a group of women and you will probably hear something about another woman who they feel dresses like a whore or spent the night with someone they didn't approve of so that makes her a slut. We even judge fictional characters for their sexual escapades. Samantha from Sex in the City is the first and most prominent that comes to mind because she is so well known for her sex life. Ask anyone and they will tell you that Samantha is the slut of the show. No one talks about how independent she is or how her control of her sex life empowers her as a person, it's all about the number of partners she's had.
I see a lot of articles about slut shaming, even through The Odyssey, that mainly claim that men are the guilty ones. The fact that women are just as much at fault is usually skimmed over. This could come from the fact that people are usually unwilling to admit that they have taken part in any wrong doing, especially when it is a hot button issue such as this one. In my eyes, women are the biggest problem when it comes to the continuation of slut shaming.
There are many ways that women shame each other but it can all be grouped under slut shaming. Women judge each other on their clothing, if a women gets promoted it is assumed it has something to do with an exchange of sexual favors -- especially if the boss is male -- and just in general shaming other women for having one night stands. Now, it is no secret that women have been slut shaming each other for years and that is probably part of the problem when it comes to men thinking it is okay to slut shame women. But why do women slut shame each other? What is their motivation behind it?
It turns out that a lot of the time, that when the word "slut" is used, it is by women who are against other women and has little to do with sex. It is all about social standing. Women who see themselves as being of a higher class than others they feel the need to assert that status by tearing down other women. This is where the term slut comes in. It is seen as a term used for "trashy" women so those trying to solidify their social standing use it to push other women bellow them. Calling what other women do slutty makes them look virtuous in some way. It really is all in their head however because calling another woman a slut does nothing to improve the way you look to other people. In fact, you just look and sound snobby and mean.
The point I am trying to make is that even though we may subconsciously feel like we are justified in shaming other women, all it does is feed into the misogyny in our society and makes women think that having sex, dressing sexy, or being involved in anything that has to do with sex is something to be embarrassed about.
Women slut shame just as much as men do, this is not a one sided issue. We need to stop thinking that calling other women sluts somehow makes us better than everyone else. Women are catty and we are our own worst enemy when it comes to the idea of slut shaming. If we really want it to stop we need to take the first step.
