I'll be the first to admit, I wanted to leave so badly for college. Family can be overwhelming, especially when there is almost always over five people living in your house at all times. First semester, I didn't find myself missing home. I filled my life with friends, schoolwork and other things instead of family. I still talked to my family and missed them, but overall I was happy where I was. Second semester is when things get tough; you're taking more classes, friends are deciding which life path to take (which could mean they leave or transfer) and the overall excitement of being away at college has gone down. With every new challenge I wanted to be with my family more and more. It took the hard times to really grasp how much my family means, and how much I was taking them for granted.

The thing with friends is that they come and go. There's a saying:

"What do friend, boyfriend, and girlfriend all have in common? They all share the ending -end, meanwhile family, does not. Friendships will end but family will always be there."

Friendships may fall apart and things are going to get tough though. Being home for Christmas break made me realize how much I was missing. My baby nephew learned to crawl while the other two were making so many more memories that I was missing out on. The friends who moved away to different colleges were making different experiences, and the friends I had that were under-classmen continued their high school journey without me. I thought coming home it would be filled with everyone gushing over how much they missed me, but instead it tore me apart to see how fast everyone moved on without me. Friends will at some point always leave, and there’s no predicting when it will happen or why.

Your family will always be there for you. They will never leave. I have called my mom and dad crying countless amounts of time just because I needed to hear their voice. When things got really hard for me, I begged to come home. Not to run away from my problems or even to have them solve my problems for me, but rather I needed someone to be there for me. Family can be the best therapy in any aspect of your life. They are the ones who know how to comfort you the most. They are the ones who know what to say (or do) to see you grin again or laugh so hard your cheeks hurt. They are the hugs you realize you need. They are the ones who love you unconditionally. They are the ones who won't leave. You can fight as much as you want, but in the end it never falls apart like a different type of relationship may. You can be states apart, heck even countries and still manage to stay close. Families are so tightly knit together that it takes more than a silly argument, or a little bit of distance, or something minuscule to ruin it. Families are families. Nobody gets left behind.

So thank you family for being my backbone. Thank you for lifting me up when I feel like I hit rock bottom, for holding my hand when I cry, for supporting me through every decision, for laughing with/at me, for always being there. Thank you for reaching out to me when you know I’m going through a tough time. Thank you for letting me be honest and break down when I need to. I’m sorry I took you for granted. I'm sorry I tried to push you away. I'm sorry for trying to replace you. It took me losing everyone to realize that I don't need everyone. I just need my family. I will never take you for granted again.