Why We Need To Stop Bashing 13 Reasons Why

I first read Thirteen Reasons Why at 13 years old. My sixteen-year-old sister had left it lying around our room and, though she told me that she didn’t think I was old enough to read it, I picked it up anyways. At the time, I don’t think I realized the power behind Jay Asher’s words. I knew that I liked the characters, and I knew that I liked the style of writing. It drew me in in ways that I am still unable to describe. This novel is among others on a very short list of books that made me want to be a writer.

Since the release of the Netflix series based on the novel became a viral topic, something about the story has changed. Never once, before this became a television show, did I hear someone speak badly about Jay Asher’s novel. Obviously, there were and are people out there who did not like it. Some see Hannah as weak; some think it is glorifying the idea and the act of suicide. But this was also a very well known book and no one had ever taken to social media to strongly and outwardly bash it until a visual representation of Hannah Baker’s story came into play.

Before diving into the Netflix series, I spent a week listening to the audiobook. A large difference between the novel and the show is the length of time in which it takes Clay to hear Hannah’s story. In the book, he burns through them in a night. But in the show, like myself he spends days forcing himself to listen to Hannah Baker’s words. That week, I struggled a lot. Seven years later, the story had a much larger effect on me. I had gone to high school. I had lived through the deceptions of others, lies of my own, and had seen the reactions of others when a young person in our own positions chose to take their own life. With her voice in my ears, I became Clay. I found myself waiting for my name to come up as well, knowing full heartedly that I had no part in Hannah Baker’s world. But Hannah Baker had become a part of my world. I wanted to save her. I wanted to help her. And, though I had never met her, I felt as though I had failed her too.

Watching the show was no easier. This time, I did as Clay had and watched them all within 24 hours. For that amount of time, I became a part of her world again; a part of Clay’s world. However, this time the lives of all of the other characters went more in depth. We did not see the thirteen people who Hannah blamed as stories on tapes – we saw them as human beings. Some of us might have even seen parts of them within ourselves.

And then the story was not so simple anymore. Before, this was a novel about a girl who had been driven to suicide – a girl who could have been helped, and things that could have been prevented. The novel was neatly packed in a bubble, which held Hannah and Clay’s worlds respectively, with no outside input from the others involved. But the show changed that. We saw kids who had everything to lose. Kids who didn’t realize the repercussions of their actions and kids who will spend the rest of their lives regretting the things that they did to Hannah Baker, things that they had originally saw as no big deal.

What has always made this story so powerful was that it tells the truth. Hannah tells the truth. Jay Asher tells the truth. This is why I think that the telling of this story is necessary. This is why I get so fired up whenever I hear people saying that this show is unnecessary and unsafe. Every little thing that we do has repercussions. The things that we say and do to others – they matter. And despite sad story after sad story, we cry and question why and then move on when a young person kills themselves.

We should not just be moving on.

This show forces viewers to take in this death first hand. They aren’t hearing about a kid at school or seeing it on the news. They are living through Hannah’s life and seeing how someone can be hurt by things that they don’t realize are harmful, and seeing through Clay’s eyes the impact of the loss of someone when it seems to be at your own hands. This show is not glorifying suicide. It is not showing it as the easy way out. As a viewer I can tell you that there is nothing easy about this show, or this topic. Even after Hannah’s death, we see how it could have been prevented. How, even after everything there were still people who loved her and cared for her. Suicide is never the answer, and that is emphasized here. This is a topic that we neglect because we are ashamed when we think that we could have stopped it and we didn’t. But prevention is a process. Prevention comes from considering the lives and feelings of others everyday and not just when it matters most.

At the end of the first season, my roommate and I sat in our room, staring at the black screen on the television and not moving, not saying a word. Every single person who watched this show lost Hannah Baker too, though she will forever live on in our minds. She remains as a reminder that we must do better for those around us, no matter who they are. Young adults these days don’t always understand this. Drama and rumors cloud every bit of the high school experience and leave them feeling like there is no other way. But there is always another way, another day, and another hand to help you when you are feeling at your lowest. We just need to make these hands more available, and reach out when we see someone who needs it.

Suicide is 100% preventable, and your life is 100% worth living. This show is not there to glorify suicide, it is there to give outsiders a better understanding of a world that some people might have never had to deal with, a world in which suicide real and painful and irreversible. If you haven’t watched it yet, I recommend doing so. If you haven’t read the book, I urge you to. This is a topic that cannot be ignored. If we ignore it, we are ignoring those who need someone’s help.

And Hannah and Clay will not let us ignore it. Neither should you.

"If someone you know is struggling emotionally or having a hard time, you can be the difference in getting them the help they need. It’s important to take care of yourself when you are supporting someone through a difficult time, as this may stir up difficult emotions. If it does, please reach out for support yourself." National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255)