All my life I've been known for my need for control. Being a perfectionist and a planner was second nature to me. Ever since I was little, I was planning out my life of being an artist, going to a prestigious college, traveling, and having my Tony speech prepared, should I ever need it. It's all been set in stone ever since then.
From being so set in my ways ever since I was younger, I'm slowly starting to realize, however, that I can only control so much. There are times when as much as I may want to, I can't do everything at once. I can only do so much given my time and circumstances. There are some days I do feel invincible, like I'm Superwoman strutting up and down the streets, untouchable. But this feeling is a temporary one and hard to maintain thanks to an ever-present, constantly nagging friend called change.
In exchange for these great days and times that we feel on top of the world, we also have to be willing to take on some unexpected things that come our way. They can be big or small, but the one thing you can never really tell is their precise arrival. Of course, there are hints and inklings of when change could be headed your way, but we never really know when to expect it or what it could bring us. It's both a blessing and a curse, or sometimes even a blessing in disguise -- we're just unable to get past the challenges change presents us with at the time.
I never used to be one of those people who are afraid of change. I was pretty accepting of it, but then again, these were times where I was more concerned with which kind of Capri Sun I wanted as opposed to whether to go straight to work post-college or look into getting a master's degree. The stakes have gotten higher, and bigger age equals bigger changes.
So what's a girl to do? Where's the manual on how I deal with these changes, especially when they no longer will have a temporary effect on me, but a lasting one? One that could potentially change the course of my entire life?
Of course, there are the obvious places to turn to. Loved ones for guidance, counselors or life coaches in how to begin to take those steps, self-help books and a pint of Ben and Jerry's to help you feel more comfortable. These are the obvious routes, but they can only do so much. They can support you, but you are the one who ultimately has to come to terms with these changes. And it's not as easy as it would seem. When you're embarking on a path of everlasting change, it's harder to confidently move forward when you don't know what's going to be thrown at you next.
Young people like myself are on the precipice of the most crucial changes and decisions of their life, ones that will have an impact on their futures. We're being forced to grow up sooner and become stronger than we feel we are ready to. And it's hard to successfully navigate through all of these unexpected hurdles with an open attitude and smiles on our faces when the world is just waiting to see how it's going to trip us up next.
But we keep on going. We wake up in the morning and go to class even if we only got four hours of sleep the night before. We drop all of our homework to support our friends when they have a crisis. We go to work shitty jobs where we're underappreciated and looked past just to make ends meet. We keep moving. We keep going.
Despite all of the changes that are thrown at us (even so much as on a daily basis), those changes don't stop us from trying. Because we are all doing the best we can. We may not always welcome change or see what benefit it could provide us or lesson it's meant to serve, but our drive to succeed can overcome any fear that may stand in furthering down our path.
Once we are reminded of what pushes us to keep going, any change can come our way. I'll even welcome back my old friend change with open arms. Why don't you stay awhile? Or don't. Either way is fine by me.
