Why We Always Want What We Can’t Have

Why We Always Want What We Can’t Have

Why the grass is always greener on the other side.

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I googled "why we always want what we can't have" and most of what came up was related to romance, which wasn't the only thing I was thinking about when writing this article. I think this behavior can apply to many different aspects of our life, and so it is all the more important to be aware of this tendency because although I, unfortunately, couldn't find a "cure" for this behavior, I believe that being aware of a problem is the first step towards solving it.

I think the answer to this question comes down to daydreaming. The wonderings and making up of scenarios of an idle brain. That cheeseburger that you have been craving for weeks, imagining what it's going to taste like when your diet finishes, is never going to be as perfectly tasty in real life as it was in your head. Don't get me wrong, its probably going to be amazing, but no cook can make something exactly as it is in your imagination, simply because your imagination is something so uniquely yours.

This cheeseburger can be used as a metaphor for other things in life as well. A vacation, a test you studied hard for, or even a relationship. Anything, really. And again this doesn't mean that life is depressing and you are never going to get things your way. It all comes down to expectations usually differing from reality, which can happen for the best as well.

There is a psychological phenomenon called "impact bias" which is the tendency we have of overestimating emotional states. Basically, when we are sad we think we are going to be sad for longer than we actually are, the same goes for happiness and other emotions. So possibly the impact we think obtaining something would have on our happiness is bigger in our heads compared to reality, and so when we actually get the thing we are disappointed by how fast the rush of happiness of having it passes. This is probably why many psychologists advise their patients to focus on the things they are grateful for in order to live a happier life.

So by wanting what you can have you get to live only with the picture of what having that thing would be like, and this way your high expectations are never crushed. Whether this is a subconscious defense mechanism or just a brain malfunction, I find that this happens to many people, and affects various different aspects of life.

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Remember To Be Kind To Theme Park Cast Members This Holiday Season

They make the magic for you.
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For those of you who have traveled to a theme park during the holidays, you know what you are in for.

The weeks right before and after Christmas are some of the busiest times of the year to visit, making the parks extremely crowded and wait times higher than usual. Yet, this time is so popular since it is fun to experience the magic of the season with your family during the special Christmastime celebrations at the parks that bring something extra to your holidays.

One of the most important things to remember during this time of year is to be nice to the cast members!

Families that come to the parks during this time have so much to remember and so much to do; unfortunately, something that is often forgotten during a vacation is to be thankful for those who have to work during this time of year.

The cast members and team members who work during the holidays are doing so at the expense of spending time with their own families. They are sacrificing their Christmas celebrations at home to be at work making your vacation magical.

Some of these workers are hundreds if not thousands of miles away from their families and may not have seen them for weeks or even months. Yet, they are here in Orlando working in a job that they are passionate about because they love making happiness for their guests

Making magic and spreading happiness is something that is important to us and why we love what we do. However, it is still really hard to be away from our families at Christmas.

Think it is hard to be a guest when the parks are crowded?

It's even more difficult for the cast members who are working as hard as they can, for 8-15 hour shifts, when things happen that are out of our control. We too dislike long waits, telling your child that he is too short to ride or the fact that a ride is temporarily closed. These things make our jobs difficult too, just as they may be a huge setback in your vacation plans.

So focus on the positive things and appreciate the time you can spend with your families and friends rather than dwelling on the things that may be small setbacks during an overall wonderful holiday vacation. Please be patient this holiday season. Give the cast members a smile and a pleasant "thank you" or "Merry Christmas". We are here for you and we want you to have a wonderful vacation, but it still makes an incredible difference to know that our work is appreciated.

At this time of year, it is important to spread Christmas cheer and we are excited to celebrate with you and your families!

Cover Image Credit: Park Troopers

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Drama on Odyssey: Forbidden Chemistry

The purpose of a tutor is to help one learn new things... Until one learns something shocking about him.

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SETTING: A library, Edwardian in style. At stage left, a teenage girl, CORA, is sitting at a desk and writing, as her tutor, PHINEAS looks on.

PHINEAS: Now Cora, would you remind me the common name of the narcissus?

CORA: Ah... A daffodil? And it's named after the demi-god who was very handsome but also very vain.

PHINEAS: Both are correct. You're doing quite well, I daresay you're even surpassing your brother.

CORA: I hope you mean Nigel and not Frederick.

(PHINEAS chuckles)

PHINEAS: Frederick isn't ready for Botany yet, although Nigel does better with Literature than science.

(CORA's mother, ISABEL ALICIA, enters stage right.)

ISABEL ALICIA: Coraline, it's time for your dance lesson.

CORA: Must I go? It'll be the last I see Dr. LeClare before he goes to Lochere next week.

PHINEAS: I'll only be gone for the week, my father requested me home to help with his latest project.

ISABEL ALICIA: I do hope it's not another impossible machine.

PHINEAS: You're so much like your father, your ladyship, you only see things for what they are. Nobody said impossible.

ISABEL ALICIA: Go on, Coraline. Your dance lesson is starting soon, and Madame Danica is waiting.

CORA: Yes, mother... (Exits stage right)

(Beat)

PHINEAS: She's doing very well. She's bright.

ISABEL ALICIA: As expected. (Beat) I wouldn't expect anything less from one of your children.

(Beat)

PHINEAS: Must we still keep this from her?

ISABEL ALICIA: That she's not really a Faraday? Yes, if we want her, not to mention our reputations to remain intact.

PHINEAS: You know, it hurts me to lie to her, Belle.

ISABEL ALICIA: I know, me too, but it's for all our sakes. The world is still quite old fashioned. I doubt either of our countries would take well to a well-respected scientist having an affair with a married baroness. It wouldn't matter if we're good people or not.

(Beat)

PHINEAS: I still wish you could leave the Baron Faraday, or that you hadn't married him at all.

ISABEL ALICIA: It would still create a scandal if I left him for you, since we both know we can't stay away from each other. As for the latter... I suppose that was my own fault, not having realized our feelings for each other sooner. (She chuckles) I honestly thought those poems you wrote me in your letters were just you trying to show off.

PHINEAS: I kind of was, and I guess I should have been more straightforward.

ISABEL ALICIA: You were trying, I just didn't notice. We'd been writing each other since we were children, so I should have. I didn't realize until after I married Oswald.

(Beat)

PHINEAS: Did you ever love him?

ISABEL ALICIA: I did at one point. He was saying all the right things, and he was the right match. But as soon as Nigel was born, it just wasn't thrilling anymore. I guess it was all obligation. (She strokes his cheek) I only know what passion is because of you.

PHINEAS: I can say the same, for another person. I've always loved you, Belle.

ISABEL ALICIA: And I you, Phin. (She kisses him)

(CORA reenters, holding a book, but stays far stage right, and listens in. ISABEL ALICIA and PHINEAS do not notice her when the kiss is broken)

ISABEL ALICIA: I should repeat Coraline's sentiments, must you really go?

PHINEAS: As I've said to her, it's only for the week. I'll be back before you even notice I'm gone.

ISABEL ALICIA: I find that hard to believe, you're a hard person to miss.

PHINEAS: I try.

ISABEL ALICIA: You know, Coraline adores you so much. Sometimes I think some part of her knows the truth. (Beat) That she's your flesh and blood.

(CORA drops her book, and runs offstage)

ISABEL ALICIA: What was that?

PHINEAS: Lise, I hope. She's a lot better with secrets than Angelica.

ISABEL ALICIA: (Looks stage left) Nobody.

PHINEAS: Perhaps we should continue in the garden. (Offers her his arm) Shall we?

ISABEL ALICIA: Absolutely.

(ISABEL ALICIA AND PHINEAS exit stage right)

(Beat)

(CORA reenters)

CORA: (Calling) Yes, Madame, I'll only need a moment. (She sits back at the desk) (Beat) (To the audience) I only dreamt that. It can't be true... (She buries her face in her hands)

(End scene)

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