I truly believe the most important goals in life are being mentally and emotionally healthy. As a college student, I know there are a lot of obstacles that tend to get in the way. Whether it’s finals or heartbreak, it has the ability to take a toll on one’s mood.

A friend of mine recently had her heart broken. She texted me at 3 a.m. when the guy decided that he couldn’t be in a relationship with her. It felt like my heart broke too because earlier that day she was so happy with him. She went through the phases that we all go through. She stopped responding to his messages, she told him she wouldn’t talk to him all summer. But as the heartbreak settles, so does the anger. Her sadness turned into missing him, so she forgot why she made the vow to stop talking to him.

I reminded her that she deserves to be happy. If someone can’t give her the world plus more, which is what she deserves, then it isn’t worth the tears. She needs someone who will treat her the same as how she treats them. I told her that she is allowed to be selfish when it comes to her happiness. If she knows her worth, it does not make her a bad person to want and expect to be given what she deserves. She learned how to put herself first. She didn’t want to get constantly disappointed anymore.

This happens a lot in college. There is a fear of disappointing people and a need to please them, even if it causes your own happiness to suffer. I used to go out, even if I didn’t want to. Most of the times I went out it was because I didn't want my friends to get mad at me. But truth is, I didn’t enjoy myself when we went out, and I always left the parties early. When I eventually stopped going, it made me seem like I wasn’t fun anymore.

I consider myself to be an introvert. I prefer staying home and hanging out with my family or talking to my long-distance boyfriend on Skype. It took a while for me to realize that I can change my hobbies to something I can actually enjoy. I shouldn’t have to do stuff just to make my friends happy with me. If they were really my friends, they wouldn’t mind, right? I lost a few friends this year. When I stopped going out, the invites to hang out stopped too. But I wouldn’t have changed anything if I could. I learned that no matter what I did, someone would be unhappy. So, I put other people aside and focused on myself. I changed my priorities, so the fear of missing out didn’t affect me anymore. I did more activities that would make myself happy. I focused on school and my writing, which gave me my new position at Odyssey. I couldn’t be any more grateful for the opportunities this year has given me. I was selfish, I was myself and I didn’t let anyone stop me.