If there is anyone out there like me, they all know the struggle of having a crush. Crushes are the worst thing to get when you’re shy and quiet like me, especially when the person is extremely attractive and “out of your league.”
When you first realize you have a crush, a lot of times the first thing going through your head is how to get them to notice you or how to talk to them. This is where one will spend hours of Internet searching for: “What to do when you have a crush?” There are so many websites out there that give advice on how to talk to them, what to say, how to act, what to wear, etc. It’s a nightmare, and unless you have the actual courage to try any of them, you are on the one-way train to despair and loneliness, or at least that’s what it feels like. So you go through the tips and possible scenarios of talking to your crush in your head. A lot of times all the tips for talking to your crush never work, and these are them:
The Big One: I have to actually talk to him?
There are so many tips on what to say, how to act, and how to approach them, but a lot of these tips are not worth anything if you can’t actually get the courage to talk to them. So before you even look for advice on what to say, build up your courage. Practice by doing one thing that scares you every day. The tasks can be simple and little. Even if you never get around to talking to your crush, if you have practice being brave, so many good things can come of it.
Internet Talkers
If you decide to initiate conversation with your crush, an alternative direct contact could be through texting, Facebook, messaging, etc., which can be good to start with if you are shy. It’s a total safe bet, although there are some downfalls. Emotions and expressions don’t get across easily and may confuse both parties. Make sure that if you text a lot and are super flirty, then act that way in real life. If you have been “talking” for a while over social media or other means then definitely start to talk to them in person. Otherwise is it really going to go any farther? When you take that chance and finally start talking to them in person, it can really solidify your initial friendship, and hopefully lead into something romantic in the future.
Interests
Oh no, you find that your crush has no interest in your passions. And you don’t have any interests in theirs! Many sites say that this can lead to a good and healthy relationship, bringing diversity into your relationship to prevent it from being too boring with each other. A good relationship calls for sharing your interests and caring for their passions even when you are not. That may be good at first but if that is all they talk about 24/7 it may become extremely difficult to care what they have to say and that is not a healthy relationship.
What if they don't like you?
So many times the whole crush thing never works out because you find out that they don’t like you or they already have a boyfriend/girlfriend. What can you do in situations like these? There has got to be advice out there for them to stop liking their significant other and like me, right? Wrong. There is nothing out there for them to stop liking someone, that’s not how it works. You can’t stop someone from loving someone, it’s rude and wrong and why would you want to break someone’s heart just to fulfill yours? This isn’t meant to be rude but I have known to many friends who have beaten themselves up over this dilemma. What has to be done is to just move on. It will be hard, believe me, but like the cliché saying goes, “There are other fish in the sea.” Plus, it’s really not that bad to be single!
Ultimately, it will be up to you to figure out if you want to even get involved with a crush. If you do decide to, just focus on being friends first. Get the courage up and try to hangout with them, just don’t become a stalker. If you feel like there is chemistry, go for it! Or sometimes it’s nice just to watch them from afar because there may be another one for you closer by. Remember: be yourself. That’s all that a crush needs to see is who you really are.
If you really are looking for tips and can't find any good ones, click here for a website with actually good tips.
Sheetal Tadiparty
Flickr Creative Commons
