Why The Dating Game Has Become Unnerving

Modern dating got you frustrated? Me too. Here's why:

1) The idea of commitment has gone out the window

These days, couples can date for years at a time, and then the first mention of the word "engagement" or "marriage" can send either one of them running for his/her life. In recent years nothing has saddened me more. I have watched couples that I've known. When I would look at them, I would say something like, "Them? Of course they love each other. They've been together for like 3 years." The response I would get from others would always be, "So? That means nothing these days." What??? My goodness people what has happened to deep, authentic love? I don't know about you, but I don't have the time to invest years of my life in someone I don't love. Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the idea of wanting a guy to love me for my heart, soul, flaws, and entire being for the rest of my life ever "goes out of style." Real, authentic love is okay with me, no matter what century I live in.

2) No one can say what they really feel

Honesty has become a plan B. There are all of these hidden rules that exist. Don't text first, don't be the first to call, and if he does either one, don't answer quickly. Because good heavens girl, don't you dare risk acting clingy or toodesperate.

It's considered "weird" and outdated to pick up the phone and have a conversation. And don't even think about asking he/she what she really thinks or how he/she feels about you. We don't ask those kinds of questions because it's "awkward." So meanwhile, let's just all sit around with a pile of anxiety and a million questions floating around in our heads, instead of coming out and asking them. Do they really care? How much do I honestly mean to this person? Are they serious about me? Most of us never know. We are too busy waiting to get a text from him or her. If it ever comes at all.

3) Social media has killed our genuineness...

Not to mention left our expectations unrealistically high. Every day, we are blasted with hundreds of pictures of impossibly perfect bodies, hair, and faces. Half of which are photo-shopped and unrealistic. How can real, genuine humans possibly compete with people that don't even exist? Simple; we can't and we don't. We allow people's appearances and outer beauty to cloud our vision of who a person really is. Girls and guys all over the place are wasting thousands of dollars and resisting hundreds of calories to feel "wanted" and "desired" by the opposite sex. The bar is so high these days, it's simply through the roof.

4)...and our interactions

Many of us can't even have genuine interactions anymore because we hide behind our phones. A guy could talk night and day over texting or Facebook messaging. Telling you how beautiful you are and how much he likes you. And yet, when he sees you in public, he'll avoid you or not be able to have a conversation with you at all. It's no wonder there are so many breakups and divorces. We can't talk to each other anymore. Not without a screen at least.

5) Not many people understand anymore what a relationship really takes

A single human life is difficult and messy enough all by itself. Never mind all the individual problems and struggles we all have on a daily basis. Try adding a whole other person to that. Another person who is an imperfect human being just like you. Who also has their own individual problems and struggles on a daily basis. Sounds complicated & difficult, doesn't it? Exactly.

Being with another person is not some simple, easy thing by any means. A relationship takes time and effort, a lot of it. If you aren't willing to put in the work, then your relationship in itself will not work. I've always seen this wonderful quote, and you probably have too. It's the one about the couple that's been together for 65 years. When asked how they managed to stay together for so long, their answer was simple, "We were born in a time when if something was broken we would fix it, not throw it away..." We are living in a time where many can't be bothered if something goes wrong. We've even come up with labels to justify ourselves. That guy has too many problems, get rid of him. That girl seems to be too dramatic, she needs to stop. Umm actually he's had an extremely rough childhood that's not his fault, and she values honesty and expressing her feelings & emotions.

PSA: If you're looking for a perfect person, you will find yourself wandering around forever because you simply will not find it. And if that is what you're doing, then that is half our battle these days. We are so focused on perfection and outer beauty that we have forgotten what it really means to love someone. Love is not getting handed a perfect person that you never have any issues with. It is getting a person that you love and care for no matter what. Despite his/her flaws, differences, and bad habits. Loving that person through all the ugly, and still being able to see beautiful. Because the truth is...

...we all have both.