It's no secret that dating on college campuses is pretty much extinct. Finding love in a hookup college is 100% impossible. That's the truth that needs to be said. There is no love in a pleasure-seeking culture because love is the gift of one's self and denies oneself for the good of the other. Love is about sacrifice and there is no sacrifice when we use each other for our own benefit.

The "Cycle of Use" is when two people mutually use one another, sometimes emotionally, sometimes physically. In "Emotional Virtue," Sarah Swafford explains how women "tend to be more emotional, sentimental, and attracted to the pleasure of romance; and men generally tend to be more physical, visual, and attracted to sexual pleasure." Women tend to be willing to give men the physical gratification they desire in return for emotional gratification the women desire. And this is how the cycle of use starts and continues to go round and round.

So many people think this is the answer, but it only ends up in more hurt and heartache. No one wants to be used. We all want to be loved and known, but we settle for fake love that disguises itself as real love. There is nothing loving about using another person. Love is not about selfish desires, it's about putting the other person ahead of yourself.

So, let's take on the challenge to break this cycle of use and wait for real love because nothing is as great as real love is. The counterfeit doesn't even come close; it actually leads you farther and farther away from the real thing. Decide today that you will not allow yourself to be used for someone else's gratification and that you will not use someone else for your own gratification. I promise you if you commit to this, you'll be able to identify real love much easier and not mistake it for its counterfeit.