It is not uncommon for people to simultaneously live a life of marginalization and of privilege. But it can make things complicated. That’s how I feel as a white-passing person of color experiencing white privilege. I recognize that colorism exists and that I am treated differently than other latinx of darker complexions, though my privilege does not negate the fact that I move through the world as a part of various marginalized groups and as such have experienced discrimination, racism and oppression. Because of my privilege, however, I will never know what it feels like to be black in the United States, or trans, or disabled or any other marginalized group to which I don’t belong. I can only try to understand by actively spending time talking to and being with my marginalized peers. Therefore, though I go to Sisters of the Round table meetings and am part of the Social Justice house, I know it’s not always appropriate to make my experience a loud voice in the room (unless something specifically applies to me) because it could take away focus from the voices of those with the identities that are central to the discussion.

However, sometimes when I am in those spaces, I feel uncomfortable sharing my point of view as a person of color because of my whiteness and my admittedly basic understanding of some issues. Sometimes the language in the room makes it an exclusive space even when it is specifically designated to be an inclusive one that is all about “calling in” rather than “calling out” people or behaviors. This creates a conflicted state of mind because on the one hand I want to share my stories as a marginalized person, ask questions, or share my philosophies about the Social Justice Movement’s process and/or progress, but at the same time I feel like an intruder who may be judged or attacked if I am ignorant about something, or conversely that I will be forcing someone to be the person (yet again) that has to educate someone on the issues affecting them.

I imagine these “inclusive” spaces are even harder for the average white person to be in. It’s a hard thing to find out you are ignorant about something and it’s even harder to not know how to change it in a productive way, to find the balance between respectful inquiry and neglectful ignorance and asking for or giving help without offending others. Obviously, most people in the US have access to plethora of resources on the wonderful worldwide web that can do a world of good to help increase their awareness and understanding of social issues. However, most people who are less aware may not know where to start their search for truth or where to get credible information. Recognizing these realities, it is my opinion that “calling in” works best when accompanied with real life stories and interactions with people who are marginalized (and those who are respected allies). In fact, this theory, called the “contact hypothesis” has been researched as a way to combat bias. Social Justice issues are not just based in policy and laws, they are absolutely rooted in emotional responses, and absolutely affect real people in real ways. Thus comes the conflicting need for the oppressed or marginalized to be involved in the education process.

One of the best ways to learn a language is immersion in its birthplace. One of the best ways to learn compassion is immersion in the stories of others. The best way for people to really understand and get involved in Social Justice Movements is for them to hear first hand the stories of oppressed or marginalized people and to be able to start the process of education and healing without fear of being silenced, alienated or excluded. When I recently read “Art of Mentoring: Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?” by Beverly Tatum, I came across an early childhood example of the silencing that harms everyone:

“A White mother and preschool child are shopping in the grocery store. They pass a Black woman and child, and the White child says loudly, “Mommy, look at that girl! Why is she so dirty?” (Confusing dark skin with dirt is a common misconception among White preschool children.) The White mother, embarrassed by her child’s comment, responds quickly with a “Ssh!”

An appropriate response might have been: “Honey, that little girl is not dirty. Her skin is as clean as yours. It’s just a different color. Just like we have different hair color, people have different skin colors.” If the child still seemed interested, the explanation of melanin could be added. Perhaps afraid of saying the wrong thing, however, many parents don’t offer an explanation. They stop at “Ssh,” silencing the child but not responding to the question or the reasoning underlying it. Children who have been silenced often enough learn not to talk about race publicly. Their questions don’t go away, they just go unasked.” (36)

“Unasked questions often leave people to fend for themselves in creating what they deem logical answers. The problem with these self created answers is that they rely on the assumption that the privileged group inherently knows or understand how a marginalized group feels without speaking to them, which is false. In order to combat such dangerous assumptions that may in fact later lead to more conflict, it is important to have safe spaces to openly discuss social issues with the aim to educate/raise awareness and create social change” (Elizana-Marie Joseph '17 University of Rochester). Tatum’s example clearly highlights the dire need for such spaces.

While “safe” and “educational” are not mutually exclusive, I have yet to see a space that has an effective combination of both. Marginalized peoples cannot change the systems which oppress them/us all on their own/by ourselves, because these systems were not made with us in mind. People of varying levels of privilege must join the fight for equity for all people. Allies are absolutely necessary in order for social justice reform to come to fruition. This is evident in the Civil Rights Movement, LGBTQ+ Movement, Americans With Disabilities Movement, Wage gap/Feminist Movements and countless others. Yes, people have privileges that they (whether knowingly or unknowingly) enjoy every minute of every day. The first step for them is to recognize this.

However, the second step should not be guilt. They had no more control over the privileges they obtained at birth (and even before) than anyone else did. Nor did they have absolute control over what they experienced or were taught. As Amaryllis Fox (and I’m sure many others have stated), “everybody believes they are the good guy.”

With that in mind, the second step should be empathy. Empathy is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal and one of the most effective at changing people’s minds and heart. It allows us to see ourselves in each other despite our differences. From there, a flood of positive effects can flow, but first, we must work together to make this step possible. It is easier said than done, but it is only through the compassion of everyone, through love, that any form of social justice can and will prevail. We all need to teach as well as learn from each other if we are to change the world. And this exchange of knowledge should always come from a place of love. It’s been done before. We can do it again.

Footnote:

“Calling in” is a policy where, for example, instead of calling a person out for a microaggression and attacking their character, one would engage them in an analysis of how and why it is a microaggression and work together to come up with an action plan to prevent the same mistake in the future.