When I first learned that the ban on gay marriage had been lifted in the US, I said to my husband, “It’s about time!” I was so happy and relieved!
I believe in equality for everyone, no matter their race, gender, or sexual orientation/identity. I feel that if two people love each other and want to get married, they should be able to do so. I think it’s important that society as a collective, comes to this realization as well.
Once you take the taboo and mystery out of certain things and start treating them as the norm, there won’t be so much fear surrounding those topics. There won’t be a need to feel nervous or insecure, because it’ll just be part of regular, everyday life. No one should feel threatened by the fact that same-sex marriage is now legal in America. If anything, we should all be embracing this change, as a way to become more unified and closer to one another in our communities, through the power of empathy and acceptance. I’m not always the biggest fan of change, but overall I try to keep an open mind about new things and ideas. I know many people who are closed off to change and anything that varies from the status quo. Nevertheless, I’m confident that as our country continues to build and grow, we will be moving towards a beautiful and progressive future. A future our children will feel proud of, and will find joy living in. Our children and grandchildren will get to live in a world of not just mere tolerance, but inclusion. Isn’t that what everyone wants? For the future generations to find their place in the world and live happy and healthy lives?
June 26, 2015 marked a historic moment for our country, and it was the start of a future that so many people had dreamed of for so long. Now, as our children grow and have children of their own, they’ll be entering an entirely new world from the one we used to know. They won’t understand the motives behind the hate crimes of the past. They will feel bewildered at the thought of people not being allowed to marry, based solely on their genders. The notion of the word “different” having a pejorative connotation, will be so antiquated they won’t even know how to comprehend it. I want America to be a place, where when I have children, they can grow up to be whomever they wish, whoever they feel they are, and not be shamed for it.
Another point I wanted to touch base on, is interracial marriage. It’s a sensitive subject for some, but once again, something I fully support. Even though interracial marriage has been legal since June 12, 1967, some people still look down on it. There are those who marry someone who comes from a different background, against their family’s wishes. It’s difficult to feel comfortable with yourself, and your decision to love someone, when the people who taught you what love is (your family) don’t approve of your choice. In many cases, it’s the father who doesn’t approve. Plenty of fathers have issues with their daughters getting married, no matter who she chooses to be with, simply because that’s his “little girl.” Though their intentions may be misguided, they’re just being protective, because they want only the best for their child. That being said, if your child is truly happy and being treated well by the person they’re with, then it really shouldn’t be an issue, no matter what color their partner’s skin is. I feel that that’s simply used as an excuse, as if to make the parent’s opinion more justified, when in reality, it has the exact opposite effect. The simple fact is, once your kid is an adult, male or female, they have the right to make their own decisions about how they want to live their life. You may not agree with everything they do, but chances are they disagree with you on some of your viewpoints as well. We’re all individuals. We have our own thoughts and ideas about things. As a parent, you have to make the call though, whether or not you’re going to let your prejudices get in the way of your relationship with your son or daughter.
My point is, marriage is now for everyone, as it always should have been. Pretty soon, no one will blink twice when they see same sex couples in public together. Some people probably see them now and don’t even realize it, since not everyone is big on showing affection in public. Either way, it won’t be long before it’ll be as normal and uninteresting as when straight married couples go out together. Most of the time, people are too involved in what they’re doing in their own life to be distracted by something so mundane and trivial. The only reason people ever feel the need to stare is because they’ve either seen something unlike anything they’ve seen before, or because they’re life is that boring and miserable, that it’s the most interesting and enviable thing they’ve seen all day. Some people may disagree with me on that theory, but frankly, it’s true.
The reason I know that, is because my husband and I were victimized by people like that when we were still in the Army. When we were dating, we had people who went behind our backs, started rumors and told us lies about each other. My own Sergeant tried to keep me away from my husband when he and I first started dating. In fact, every single person who ever tried to meddle with our relationship, was either divorced, going through a divorce or it was widely known that they were unhappy in their marriage. My husband and I were mocked and discriminated against when we were dating, while we were engaged and even after we were married. Some people didn’t think we’d last. We got married when my husband was 23 and I was 21, so I think a lot of people had their misgivings simply because we were young. That in itself though, is a kind of discriminatory and prejudiced attitude. My husband and I have been married for four and a half years now and our relationship is even stronger, richer and more loving and comfortable than it was in the beginning. We’ve grown and changed together, and I couldn’t ask for a better friend to be by my side on this journey called “life.”
Here’s the thing though; for us to be discriminated against, and mocked, and put down, seemed like such a weird concept, given that we were a straight, white couple. I realized then, that it doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from or what you look like. People who are miserable with their own life, and jealous of someone else’s happiness, will always go out of their way to mess with that other person’s life. They can’t stand to see someone else truly happy, if they’re unhappy. It’s not about your gender, your sexuality or your ethnicity, and it’s not about their so-called “phobia.” It’s about them using their hatred against you, to gain power and control. Unfortunately, the simple fact is, that misery loves company. It’s not fair, and it’s not morally right. Never let someone else have that power over you. Continue to keep your head held high, and be happy with your life. Be brave in the face of cowardice, because that’s all those people really are. They’re scared. Not of you, but of what you represent: a happy life that they fear they’ll never have, because they’re too afraid to change their own.
In closing, I just want to say, that I support same-sex and interracial marriages, because I know how upsetting, frustrating and hurtful it can be to have people trying to take away your love, your life, your happiness. Nobody has the right to do that. Not to you, or me, or to anyone else. It is our Constitutional right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. The next time someone tries to mess with your relationship, or tells you how you should be living, remind them of your Constitutional right as an American citizen. You deserve to have the freedom to love whomever you want, and to live your life to the fullest, and I will continue to support your right to do so!
