What job is in the highest demand, worldwide? What job is the toughest, most time consuming, yet most rewarding job in the world?
Mom.
Moms are the most important people in our lives. Moms are the most important people in the cycle of life. Moms sacrifice so much of their lives for their children. They put their children before themselves, before anyone. In doing so, they often lose parts of themselves whether it be ambitions they dreamed of, freedoms they enjoyed, or money they earned. In compromising these things, moms gain new parts of themselves which are unmatched by anything else.
As women have increasingly been included in the labor force of even the most remote and underdeveloped parts of the world, the opportunity cost of having a child has risen. They can work or have a child; but to do both would be difficult or near impossible for any women. This discourages a woman from having a child, or an additional child to their first. More an more frequently, we hear stories of women who choose to sacrifice their career in order to raise their children. They either exit the labor force completely and become "stay-at-home" moms, or switch careers to better coordinate their schedule to their children's schedule.
I highly respect those who have forfeited the idea of having children in the name of their career, as I will probably do the same.
I highly respect and commend any mom who has successfully held a career and had children. What you do is amazing.
Mostly, and maybe due to personal bias, I highly respect and commend the moms who gave it all up to be with their children, and I thank you. This decision to be a stay-at-home mom is the ultimate statement of your selfless and caring character. This decision is one so many are not strong enough to make, because it would mean forfeiting a huge chunk of your life for someone else. This decision is one that will undoubtedly impact your children in the most positive way. And it will not be a decision that goes unappreciated.
My mom earned a college degree while working full-time and living on her own. She then held a very esteemed position in her career field upon graduation which gave her the title of "BOSS" and a hefty salary. She was excellent at what she did, with a sharp mind, a niche for the business, and leadership skills 99% of the population doesn't possess.
And she gave it all up. For us. My sister and I.
She always says to me "Ali, everyday at 7:00 am I would get in the car with my new expensive suit and black heels to go to work, and as I drove out of the neighborhood all the other mommys would be in their fluffy robes and slippers sending their kids to the bus....and after 3 years of that I couldn't do it anymore. You would cry and hug my leg and ask me not to go. It wasn't worth it."
My mom... an intelligent, powerful, classy and sophisticated woman with the world in her hands chose to change her entire life and trade in all of her previously thought out goals in order to achieve the goal of raising her children. I couldn't be any more appreciative of that, because that decision granted my sister and I with the most amazing childhood.
When your mom is a stay-at-home mom, you're raised in a social environment of fun, creativity, dependability, and moral values. Everyday, every kid in the neighborhood would be at our house after school. Boys, girls, ages 5 to 15 it didn't matter; they were all there. They came not because they had to since their parents were working, but because they wanted to. They chose to come to our house rather than go to any after school care program because my mom made everything fun. My mom would make us snacks, force us to do our homework, come up with fun games and let us basically run wild with our imaginations. She even willingly encouraged us "clean" aka soak the entire hardwood floor of the kitchen pretending to be in the movie Annie and singing. My childhood is full of memories of movie nights, makeovers, manhunt games and obstacle courses. Every neighborhood kid felt comfortable in our house, had fun in our house, learned new things in our house, and formed lasting friendships in our house. They grew up in our house: literally. And it was all because of my mom.
Often, stay-at-home moms form closer and deeper bonds with their children, creating a strong sense of family values. Because of this decision my mom made, my sister and I have a very unconventional, yet close relationship with our mom. She's our mom first and foremost and absolutely lays down the law if needed. But she's also our best friend. She's the best friend we tell everything to, we trust the most, and we share everything with. She's the first person we call when we get really good news, or really bad news. She never judges us, just eagerly listens and offers advice. Sometimes its advice we don't want to hear, and sometimes its too much advice; but at the end of the conversation we always feel a thousand times better and...she's usally right. She always wants the best for us and does her best to make our dreams realities. She knows us too well, so its impossible to lie to her or keep a secret from her...but I like it that way. I want her to know everything because more often than not she has the best solutions, and the best precautions to offer. We still talk everyday, and some college kids only talk to their parents once a month. She knows exactly the way our minds work, exactly what we want from life...and because she knows this she is able to help us be the best version of ourselves. She is able to help us get the most out of life.
The relationship we have with our mom is the most rewarding of any, but it is only possible with some consequences. My mom's entire life for 21 years has revolved around us, because it needed to revolve around us. But now that we've grown up, moved out, and lead our independent lives we no longer need it to revolve around us. However, that career that my mom left behind 21 years ago isn't there openly waiting for her now. She abandoned that life and can never look back.
Most of the time, stay-at-home moms who abandoned their career at the beginning of the children's' childhood find themselves lacking purpose when the children become adults. Others feel its finally time for themselves to do what they want with their own life. At this point in time, they seek to re-enter the labor force and work in their dream career. Unfortunately, the world doesn't work this way. They may have all the credentials, the experience, the niche for the career; but few employers will hire someone of wiser ages over fresh-out-of-college applicants. Few employers will grant those re-entering the labor force with positions of power they previously held, and instead will offer a window of opportunity to start from the bottom. They can start all over again, in a position in which they could be considered "underemployed". Such was the case with my mom, so she chose not to re-enter the labor force.
This is exactly why I respect and appreciate stay-at-home moms more than anyone. They literally give up their entire lives for their children. In one way, it is something they do for themselves because they know they will personally be happier with life if they raise their children as opposed to working. But ultimately, it is a selfless decision because they only would be happier raising their own children for the sole reason that they want the best for their children. They want them to grow up to be the best versions of themselves. They want them to grow up knowing they have someone who loves them unconditionally, someone who is there for them always, and someone they can openly talk to about anything in life. And these are precisely the results of growing up with a stay at home mom, from someone who would know.
So, to any mom that chose to stay home and raise your kids, thank you. You make up the strongest, most selfless and special group of people on this planet; and your children are gloriously proud to call you their mom.
