I have never been one of those girls who are looking for compliments when I say something I’m insecure about. I’ve never said, “I look chubby in this,” and then fished for a compliment. As I write this, I'm still not looking for compliments on how you think I look. In fact, your opinion really does not affect how I view myself. Whether you want to admit it or not, we live in a society that shames all types of girls, even when there isn’t anything wrong with the way any of us look. Imagine, being a nineteen-year-old woman who is insecure about her body: Does that make you gasp, thinking that a young adult woman struggles with accepting how she looks? It’s unheard of, right?
Wrong.
The fact is, most girls and women of all ages struggle with the same insecurities I do. I do not have an eating disorder, but I find that there are times I get extremely insecure about the way I look--and that is not okay for anyone. Whether you see it or not, our society shames women.
Imagine being a girl, who is 5’8 or taller, or 5’5 and shorter. Imagine having breasts bigger than a C cup, or not having breasts at all. Imagine having really long legs or having very short legs. Imagine being too skinny or having a little bit of a stomach. Imagine not having the perfect body shape. Did you notice I covered every part of the body?
That is what girls and women are being shamed for day in and day out.
“I don’t know why you’re insecure, you’re pretty as is.” Well, how is someone supposed to feel pretty in a world that tells them they’re not? Personally, when I go shopping, I have to buy special bikinis, because I have a small bust, but bigger breasts. I can only buy jeans from certain stores because my legs are a lot longer than average. When it comes to dresses, skirts and shorts, I have to convince myself that the shorts aren't as short as they seem, and it's just that my legs are too long, and it doesn’t matter what I bought, because everything will look short. I can’t buy certain shirts that show off even the least bit of cleavage, because I’ll either get cat called, or called a tramp. These are not things I’ve made up; I’ve been shamed for my body repeatedly. And I can guarantee you other women like me--and unlike me--have been shamed for the exact same things.
We shame ourselves, we shame each other, and society has shamed us into thinking we’re not pretty enough. Millions of women feel ashamed of their body day in and day out. Yet, everything I see in stores and online is getting smaller and smaller. A size 8 is considered a plus size!
A size 8!
Girls who are 34Ds are considered XL’s in bikinis. Average sizes are becoming plus sizes, while smaller and more petite is becoming the new normal. These “normal” standards are so far from what normal women look like.
And that is not okay.
To anyone reading this that has ever felt insecure about your appearance, please remember we all look good. Please remember that these “normal” standards of what we should look like are so far from normal. It’s not okay for anyone to not be at peace with their bodies. It's not okay for us to be shamed for the way we look. Finally, people need to understand that not only girls with eating disorders struggle with accepting what they look like.
And it is all of our faults because we are society and only we can change what “normal” is.
