Sometimes people come into our life and quickly become rooted. Someone who wasn’t on the radar. Yet, you welcomed them with open arms. They seemed to fill a void you never knew you had. You created some unforgettable memories. Life seemed to be on top of the world. But, in the grand scheme of time it was only a brief moment, because life happens. Plans don’t play out how you want. Times get hard. That person arrives on the scene like a hero. You start to believe they will always be there for you. Since, after all, isn’t that what true friends are for? Expectation and trust builds that they will be there for you, since, for the time you knew them, there was no different. Then things start to change. What was once hot turns ice cold, and you begin to think that you did something wrong. Maybe you have too many problems. Maybe they are just too busy. Just when you start to lose hope, they come out of left field just as things used to be. Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. A roller coaster of emotion, when in reality, all you need is support as everything in the world seems to be dragging you down like an anchor.
You make excuses for the asshole behavior, since you have “history.” That is where you need to draw the line. It is not giving up on a friendship. It is letting go because that person no longer has a positive effect on your life. What was once beautiful is now past its bloom. A dried hollow with thorns is all that resembles. Yes, they were there at times when you needed a friend most. But it is no excuse for the pain they caused you with hurtful words, a cold shoulder, the lies and empty promises. You actually started to believe that maybe your problems were a cry for attention.
But the truth is, you weren’t the problem. Nobody has too many problems. People will make time for those they truly care about. You weren’t asking for attention, you were admitting that you needed help. Your friend just isn’t what you need. What you need is consistency. You need support in all the good times and all the bad times. You need someone who makes you feel secure about your friendship.
We tend to pick flowers in full bloom, admiring their beauty. When it starts to die, we don’t want to admit that it’s changing - hoping for a little more time. In the end, we’re wasting our time on something that has nothing left. Some friends come into our lives to show us a good time. They can cause some pain. But the greatest lesson they show is to forgive and move on. The hardest apologies to accept are the ones never given. Holding onto hurt only makes us hope to have things be like they once were. Find freedom in letting go, and you will be stronger for it.
