Since when did it become the norm to measure how much someone means to another by the extensiveness of their gift? It seems like nowadays you’re more likely to hear your friend rave about how her significant other is going to buy her “a really expensive bracelet” for her birthday or anniversary. Seriously, who cares? I have never understood why people associate material gifts with love. Don’t get me wrong, every now and then it is nice to get a little something from somebody close to you. However, it starts to become an issue when not getting an expensive present translates into somebody not caring about you. Not to be cynical or anything, but have you ever considered the fact that maybe that “super expensive” present your friend got you was to cancel out or hide some of their wrongdoing? Guilty presents are a thing, trust me.

Imagine that on your next birthday your best friend surprises you with a scrapbook recounting the many years of priceless memories. How much more grateful would you feel about that gift? It means they actually took the time to pick and choose which photographs meant the most to them. What if instead of buying you lavish jewelry, your boyfriend or girlfriend planned a fun-filled day including all of your favorite foods and taking you on adventures. Their ideas would prove that they are actually listening when you talk and they remember all of the things that make you happy. How nice would that be? The memories from these non-materialistic gifts would last you a lifetime.

No matter what the object is that you are given, the instant gratification will eventually fade away. Over the years I have received and given many gifts. One thing that I learned during this process was that it’s total B.S. and the most stressful thing ever. The fear of getting someone a gift and having to watch them open it with a less than ecstatic expression gives me too much anxiety. For all I know they could already be thinking about if I remembered to get the return receipt.

As time goes on and I get older, I value my relationships with my friends and family to a greater extent. I want to be able to give them something that truly shows them how much they mean to me. I believe that time is the best thing you can give to someone. Being in good company is the most important factor for living a happy life. Showing somebody how much you care by spending time with them, making them smile and laugh will mean a hundred more times to them that buying something at the store. Don’t be afraid to be different when it comes to showing somebody how much you love them. The reality is that whoever that person is will remember your gift of time more than anything else. Change the way that society thinks about the gift of materialistic objects.