For most of us, social media has become a necessary evil. Major components of our lives are attached to the blue-bannered newsfeeds of Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Campus organizations, careers, even areas of study are tied to these apps and websites that, for a lot of us, are time-drainers and esteem-droppers.

There’s no question that social media has changed the way we communicate; it allows us to use Facebook posts to learn meeting times, and Twitter and Instagram to keep current with political happenings (Snapchat does this too, I’m told). Social media has brought this new dimension to “truth” vs. “rumor,” where things are verified through Facebook relationship statuses, and new jobs aren’t “official” until they’re updated to our timelines. We’ve become obsessed with confirming our realities through this alternate one, a place where we can watch lives unfold through the screen of our phones.

But I think one of the most significant ways social media is changing our lives is through our relationships, mostly romantic. Beyond aesthetics (ahem, Tinder), our relationships are often defined through the ways they have and haven’t been expressed on social media. It’s so bizarre to think that an entire relationship history can occur on somebody’s Facebook timeline.

In the wake of my most recent breakup, Facebook invented a new feature designed specifically for hiding people you’ve broken up with from your timeline/newsfeed/virtual world. And it felt so postmodern and weird for me to go in and tell Facebook I didn’t want to see my ex's information in my feed or history anymore. But that’s what we “need” now because we affirm our realities through these websites and apps that have no productive value to them. These websites mediate our emotional states through filters and blocking features that hide from us the reality that we’re trying to escape. But is that even healthy?

Is it healthy for us to find closure in relationships by defriending exes on Facebook and unfollowing them on Instagram? Is it healthy to announce a career change and wait for the virtual applause? There’s something to be said about the way that social media has allowed us to be a little less modest with our successes, allowing others access into our accomplishments in return for theirs, but there are moments where its protective qualities might hamper our natural emotional processes.

We’ve become obsessed with the shorthand skim of social media, and maybe I’m old-school, but I feel like that’s taking away from so many beautiful traditions we have as humans. Getting a handwritten letter in the mail is a special treat, and asking your friends to put their phones in the middle of the table at dinner seems a bother.

It's uncertain to me whether social media is an entirely good or bad thing, and I don't think the answer is clear-cut. What scares me is how emotionally connected we are to the actions and inactions people take through these colorful graphics on a little block of glass, steel, and plastic and how difficult it can be to pry a cell phone from someone's hand to have a real-life conversation.