Right now, everyone is talking about the election. Everyone is posting about the election. Everyone is vlogging about the election. Everyone is writing about the election. Most of this country is not happy with who the next President of the United States will be. Everyday, there’s some news about his plans that seems to upset everyone, and we’re stuck with him. Unless the Electoral College votes him out on December 19th, Donald Trump is the next President of the United States. It’s important for your voice to be heard, but at the same time, it’s also important to get your mind off things and try to relax. “Saints Row IV” is what you need.
“Saints Row IV” follows the story of the other games, but flashes five years into the future where the Saints Row Gang is running the country. They saved the world, and now they’re in charge of it. The Boss has become the President of the United States. Keith David is your Vice President. Everything is great until aliens show up, enslave mankind, blow up the planet, and put you in a simulated version of Steelport, the city where the Saints resided in the other games. Now the President has to rescue his gang, save the human race, and defeat the aliens.
This is a game that really puts you into it. You get to choose what your character looks and sounds like. If you wanted to, you can play the game as yourself, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, President Obama, Ted Cruz, Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, Michelle Obama, or even the President Elect himself. And you get to be the president. As the President, you get to make decisions like ending cancer or world hunger. And after the aliens take over, you get to take them down and save everyone.
This game makes being the president fun. You get creative weapons, customized cars, a team of badasses, helicopters, UFOs, and even a mech suit. So if you want to be president, this game is for you. If you want to put yourself in the game, this game is for you. If you want to be lost in mindless violence to get your mind off the election, this game is for you. If you want Keith David to be your Vice President, this game is for you. If you want to kill aliens with a Dubstep Gun, this game is for you. If you want to kill aliens with a Dildo Bat, this game is for you. If you want to fight zombies, this game is for you. If you want to step inside an 8-bit sidescroller, this game is for you. If you want to dance at a strip club, this game is for you. If you want to fight furries, this game is for you. If you want to fight alongside of Johnny Gat, this game is for you. If you want to show Donald Trump what a real president is, this game is for you.
So try to get your mind off this election. Do what works for you. But don’t forget that if you play this game, you get to be the President of the United States, fight aliens, and save the human race.
