Following God isn't always easy,
When I got the call back in October offering me the internship, I hung up the phone and was jumping with joy. This internship was right up my ally. I'd get to travel. I'd be working in Adobe and other design software, doing what I love. I'd be making good money and gaining invaluable experience. I had to say yes! But I'm not going to sit here and pretend that that decision was easy by any means. I'm excited, but I've also never experienced so much anxiety in my life. The reality is that leaving behind family and friends is scary. If you've ever moved I'm sure you can relate - whether you've moved away for college, a job, or any other reason. I don't know how the distance will impact my relationships back home and that's probably been the hardest part of all of this.
How will I make sure things are okay at home? That my brother is doing his homework and my family's not fighting? What will all my friends be doing without me? What if I can't find a good church or Christian community to keep my relationship with God strong? What if the distance drives my boyfriend and I apart?
Of course, then there's the stresses of finding someone to sublease your apartment, figuring out new housing, filling out paperwork...you get the idea. And the internship in and of itself is certainly nerve-wracking, too.
What exactly will I be doing and am I really ready for this?
The moral to the story: next semester is looming with uncertainty, and while I know it will be good for me, it wasn't the easiest thing to accept. But this is what I've been asking for.
But outside-of-your-comfort-zone is the best place to experience growth
"Outside of my comfort zone" has been a common theme in my life this past year, a huge part of my testimony, and it's turned into my biggest prayer, too; For God to take me places that will stretch me and make me reliant on Him. To strip me of anything that I tend to lean on instead of Him. To make my life about serving Him and not about chasing after my own dreams. And He is faithful.
My freshman year at UC, God called me outside of my comfort zone to a weekend retreat where I knew nobody. I love hanging out with people, but to spend an entire weekend with a room full of strangers is another thing. It was there though, that I grasped the gospel for the first time, understood God's love for me, and met some of my best friends. Last summer, I stepped outside of my comfort zone once again by deciding to go to Ecuador. Support raising, flying, living abroad... all of these things were brand new to me but I learned so much. Now, I'm about to be living in another state for a whole semester. THIS is a whole new level of uncomfortable. But my anthem this past year has sounded something like this: "Get uncomfortable, because that's where you're gonna grow. But once you get there, you have to give God control." I've been asking God to take me outside of my comfort zone and that's exactly what He's doing. I accepted the internship. I agreed to go. I've accomplished the first step. Now I need to hand over the reigns, though. I need to quit worrying. I need to trust God and let Him teach me what it is he wants to teach me. In other words..."Let go and let God"
So say "Yes" Anyways.
God doesn't want compromises. He doesn't want contentment. He'll meet us wherever we are, but He's in the business of eternal life change. He has no interest in leaving you in your broken state, but He needs us to give up control in order for change to happen. He needs us to, without hesitation, say "Yes" to His commands.
For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us - by me and Silas and Timothy - was not "Yes" and "No," but in him it has always been "Yes." For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. (In other words, God's promises are fulfilled in Jesus Christ). And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. | 2 Corinthians 1:19-2
When we say Amen, we're saying YES, Lord, you are powerful. YES, you are good. YES, Lord, I'll follow you. I had it put to me this way once: Amen is like an exclamation point of faith in a prayer for help. It is saying YES, God, you've got this.
As for relationships, I'm learning not to push people away out of fear of losing them. Have you ever put your guard up, created a safe distance, so that if it didn't work out it wouldn't hurt as bad? Yeah, it doesn't work...it still hurts. Let people love you. Keep loving them back. And trust God with the rest. Don't waste time worrying about something you can't control.Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? | Luke 12:25We spend so much of our lives worrying about the future... who we will marry, what career we will have, how we will pay our rent. Do you see a trend here? We're so near-sighted. We miss the big picture that prophets like Isaiah and Jeremiah tried to paint for us... the road up ahead may be bumpy and uncertain, but you're not supposed to place your hope in that, but rather in God's one and only Son, sent to save us from our sin so we could live with him forever.
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. | Isaiah 9:6-7In other words, don't let the fear of the unknown keep you from experiencing all that God has in store for you. Even when following God's lead seems scary, let's live a perpetual "Yes" and follow him anyways!
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, yet our inner self is being renewed day by day. For our light and temporary affliction is achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs our troubles. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. | 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
