In approximately 40 days, I'll be at the starting line of my first marathon. I've paid Disney to run 26.2 miles through their parks. How's training going? Could be better. Do I think I'll be ready for January 8th? Here's hoping. Am I going to drop out? Absolutely not.
Trying to find time and motivation to train is kind of difficult when you work from 7 pm - 7 am. It'd be difficult even if I worked 7 am - 7 pm, but I'd have a more stable sleep schedule. I sleep during the day, because I kind of have to, and I work out when I have the time. Why am I doing this to myself? Because I love to run, and I've come too far to give up now. Plus I'm a bit stubborn. When it comes to pushing myself, especially with athletic pursuits, I don't like to call it quits. The only time I've ever DNFed a race was when I had to be carried off the course. Sometimes I have really good runs, and sometimes I have really bad runs. But the point is, I'm running. No matter how well a training run goes, the important thing is that I'm pushing through and still training. Because the end goal is to see how far I can push myself, both mentally and physically. Running is mainly a mental game. Your body doesn't really know what it's capable of until it tries, and the game is making your brain shut up while you try and attempt what it thinks is impossible (or at least, highly improbable).
I run because it's familiar. I run I chased a soccer ball around a field for 10 years, and transitioning to chasing competitors just seemed natural. I run because it makes me feel more alive. I run because it helps me clear my mind, and helps me brainstorm. I run because running has been a part of my life for so long, and I don't quite know how to let it go. And I don't know if I want to.
When I compete in a triathlon, my goal is normally to just make it to the run. Swimming can be a struggle at times. Biking can either go well, or it can suck, depending on how hilly the course is. But running...my body knows how to run. Even when my lungs aren't cooperating, my muscles know how to run. It might be weird, but I truly enjoy running. And running without music can actually be enjoyable at times. Maybe it's the endorphins, maybe it's simply being outside and interacting with nature. I don't know exactly why running just seems so natural to me, but I know why I run.
I run to feel alive. I run to stay in shape. I run to get stronger. I run to win (even if it's a fun run). I run because if I didn't, I don't know who I'd be. I run because walking is too slow sometimes. It might not be pretty sometimes, but I run. I run because I can.
