Why A Relationship Shouldn't Define You

Everyone is their own person, you don't need another person to validate the life that you control.

I think people put too much pressure on themselves to be in or relationship or question themselves too much. Wondering... Why doesn't anyone like me? Am I that repulsive that no one wants to date me? I would know because I'm one of those people who finds myself swirling in that whirlwind of constant self-questioning.

You shouldn't let someone's opinion of you make you love yourself any less. The whole point of life is to live it how you want to and not let anyone else stop you from what you want to accomplish in it.

Regardless of whether you are in a relationship right now or not, doesn't mean you need to be happy in one you are in or have to strive really hard to get into one. Most relationships are just a temporary means to an end and if you aren't happy before being in a relationship, you won't be happy forcing yourself into a situation that doesn't feel right.

And if you are in a relationship right now, remember that you are your own person. If your significant other doesn't view you with the respect that you deserve then you should get out of there. You aren't a package deal; you are an individual with your own likes, passions, and dreams. Relationships seem to take that individuality aspect away from some people, and if you start to change yourself for someone, then are you really yourself at all?

Relationships can bring you so much happiness. I know I have some memories from them that I won’t ever forget. However, the same time, they can also bring immense pain and sorrow, so make sure you don’t let that pain destroy you. It’s okay to be upset, but remember that there was a reason that it ended in the first place, and if you are meant to be with someone then you will be. Don’t let the sorrow consume you, because every second you waste being depressed is a second you will never get back.

Instead of defining yourself by your relationship status focus on yourself in other words. When someone asks you who you are, what would you say? Talk about activities you like, goals you want to achieve, friends that you love, places you want to visit, people you want to meet... You aren’t defined by who is holding your hand or whether or not someone even is.

Obviously, it’s a lot easier said than done, but just because someone else is happy in a relationship doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be happy without being in one. Worry about yourself and what you can do each day to get yourself to smile. I sound overly optimistic, but time shouldn’t be wasted not appreciating yourself and not knowing that you are just as worthy of happiness as anyone else.

So if you ever need to define yourself, don’t think of your love life first. It may seem important now, but when you’re the CEO of the next Apple, then all the doubts you ever had would have disappeared. You need to know that you're awesome, you alone are, and no one can take that away from you.