For someone as young as myself, I hear an awful lot of “why don’t you have a boyfriend?” or “you need a man in your life.” I get it, I’m single, a little heartless and a little reckless at times, but for now, I am perfectly fine establishing a life for myself, learning to love who I am, and figuring out exactly what it is I want/need from a man.
I know that I want to settle down one day; get married and have a family. But I know at this point in my life I am not ready for that. I still have dreams to chase, goals to reach, and fun to have.
I’m not here to preach about being caged in or to talk about “society’s expectations” because I truly am a hopeless romantic, who wants nothing more than to have that fairytale ending. I want to love without borders and wake up one day to my beautiful children and loving husband. But for now, I am okay where I’m at and here are the reasons why:
1. I don’t need a man.
“You’d be so much happier if you just settled down.” I don’t believe this to be true, I have a good head on my shoulders, a promising career path, a great family, and good friends. I’m plenty happy. I know what I have to offer and who is worthy of it.
2. My career comes first.
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you it doesn’t love you anymore.” I am so happy to be pursuing a career path that I am truly passionate about, I dream about how far I will go, and I don’t need anything holding me back right now. Getting my degree is my number one priority, for the time being, if the right guy comes along and understands my priorities, my hopes, and my dreams, then so be it.
3. I don’t mind being alone.
I value alone time. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely enjoy the company of others, but moderation is the key to life. Finding someone who understands my need for personal space and alone time would be great, but men tend to be needier than they lead on to be. Finding someone who I enjoy spending time with would also be great.
4. Relationships can be stressful.
Although relationships come with some really wonderful things, they come with not so good things as well. I have a lot on my plate and don’t have time for mind games, jealousy, attitudes, etc. My experiences with relationships haven’t been so great in recent years so maybe they tainted my outlook either that or I really don’t have the patience or time to put into a relationship right now.
5. I will not settle for less than I deserve.
When I love, I love without conditions and I want to find someone who is willing to love just as hard. I want someone who's going to care about me just as much as I care about them. I refuse to settle for the surface level relationships that are plaguing our generation.
6. I enjoy my freedom.
Relationships can bring along a new set of "rules" (for lack of better term) into your life. Instead of spending the weekend with your girlfriends, you'll find yourself watching movies with your man, which isn't always a bad thing but right now, I'm finding myself, and I enjoy spending my weekends meeting new people, partying, and simply living it up with my best friends.
7. I haven’t found the right guy yet.
All seemingly heartless excuses aside, the reason may be because I haven’t stumbled upon the right guy yet. They always say when you know, you know. I know eventually I’ll find someone who makes me feel as though I have more possibilities instead of less. I may just have built my walls too high to climb for now, but I am not settling until I find someone willing to climb the walls I’ve built around my heart.
