Why Is It Okay To Ruin Girls' Futures Too?

Why Is It Okay To Ruin Girls' Futures Too?

Why are we only worried about boys' futures?

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A lot of the talk in the news, especially on social media, has been about Justice Brett Kavanaugh and the sexual assault allegations that have come forward. Connecting this case to ones in the past, often the 'justification' for letting it go or not taking it completely seriously is because they don't want to ruin the man's future....ruin the MANS future. Let that sink in for a second.

Rape and sexual assault can happen to anyone, both men and women. One in five women and one in seven one men will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. But many of the more popular cases in the media such as the Brock Turner case in 2016 are justified because the man was 'young and didn't know what he was doing' or they don't want to 'ruin the rest of their lives'.

Why is this so easily justified but no one thinks about the lifelong effects that this trauma has on the victim?

So many victims are literally traumatized for months, years, or their entire lives from their experience. 94% of women who have been raped experience symptoms of PTSD during the two weeks following the rape. 30% of women reported experiencing PTSD 9 months after the rape. 33% of women who are raped contemplate suicide. 13% of women who are raped attempt suicide. Approximately 70% of rape or sexual assault victims experience moderate to severe distress, which is a larger percentage than for any other crime.

Why is this not our main concern in the courtroom? Why is okay to focus on the rest of the man's/perpetrators life, but not the victims? I've heard this reasoning in too many cases and it literally just does not make sense. They aren't the victims in these situations, so why is it them who gets the second chance?

I've talked to a lot of people in the last week or so, asking their opinions on the case specifically and on the way rape cases are treated in general. One opinion that was relatively common between men really stood out to me; that they feel as if women lie about the rape or sexual assault occurring. Fake rape accusations get a lot of attention because they're an easy escape.

Only 2-10% of rape accusations have been proven false in the last 10 years according to a US study. The FBI only has 8% of rape cases that are "unfounded". Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted. Only 2-10% of accusations have been proven false in the last 10 years.

I've also heard, "Well why is she just bringing this up now?" What people don't understand is how hard it is to get a rape case even inside a courtroom, and one of the only reasons this one finally came up is because of the high-class social status. Everyday rape cases aren't typically discussed because most go unreported or don't ever make it that far.

But Justice Kavanaugh has the name attached, and that forced people to pay attention regardless if they agree or disagree with what happened.

This specific case combined with the 'Me Too' movement has begun to give women a voice, and more and more have finally spoken up about their own personal experiences. People don't understand how much times have changed and that women simply were not allowed to speak up about these things are they are today.

This case is a prime example of how far we still have to come, and how serious these cases need to start being taken. The victims need to start becoming the priority.

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Just For Clarification, It Is Possible To Be BOTH A Christian Woman And A Feminist

A clarification of God's intention for men, women, and their value.

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I read an article recently about a young Christian woman who said that she didn't believe that God intended women to be equals. Here was the Title, "I'm A Christian Girl, And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend For Women To Be Equals."

I read the article, mostly because the title was a little unsettling, and understood where she was coming from. It held a great intention and standing in Scripture coupled with a passionate affection for Jesus, which I adore. However, the language and word choice could be used to reinforce the notion that Christians and God view women as lesser than men.

And so, I wanted to clarify a few things to ensure clarity. The idea that God views women as less valuable than men is truly and wholeheartedly not true. There is so much significance, value, intention, meaning, and need for women. And men, equally are as vital, so valuable, full of meaning, and so uniformly needed. And to put both of them on a scale to weigh out our equality in significance and value almost feels... completely unnecessary and out of place. Both men and women hold an equal degree of worth as persons, as they have both been made in God's image and are heirs together of eternal life.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1: 27
There is neither Jew nor Greek, thee is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:38

We cannot reproduce one without the other. We depend on each other for the very carrying on of our beings. And we depend on each other in a lot of other contexts too.

I'd like to open this up to a little bit more of a dialogue because I think there's some disconnect between how feminism and equality are understood and defined as in today's context. So just to be clear on exactly what we're talking about, here are some definitions from dictionary.com of the key terms that this topic revolves around:

The definition of equal: being the same in quantity, size, degree, or value.

The definition of equality: the state of being equal, especially in status, rights, and opportunities.

The definition of feminism: the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.

The definition of a feminist: A person who supports feminism.

Just a quick disclaimer, people have adopted various definitions of these terms in today's culture. For my purposes, I will be referring to the definitions listed above.

So, essentially a feminist is someone who supports the state of equality in status, rights, and opportunities relative to men. Under that definition I, a Christian woman, would define myself as a feminist. In a general view, I support and encourage the state of being provided the same opportunities, rights, and status as a woman, and essentially as a human being.

With that being said, however, I also believe that men and women are different, and have been given roles within the family setting to fit those differences. Here is one passage that describes a woman's particular role in a marriage.

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." Ephesians 5: 22-24

I think the word submit immediately scares us as women. It scares me a bit, to be 100% honest. But after being married and realizing that leadership is so important, and us working as a team together is hugely vital to our marriage, the roots of this message are being realized and understood further in my own life and as a wife.

The type of submission described here is not the obedience children owe to their parents. Nor is it stating that all women should submit to all men. This submission is in a specific marital context for the work of a harmonious and healthy marriage. It goes on to command the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. The husband is to be a leader that loves, cherishes, listens to, and protects his wife. We have both been given a responsibility and a role to ensure that our marriage is working toward one common goal. That we are on the same page because ultimately we are on the same team.

So although men have been granted a role of leadership within a marriage, this should in no means imply that we are not equal to them. Equal in quantity, quality, degree, or value. There are millions of angles and coatings to this subject, so please forgive me for the gaps that I haven't addressed in this small fragment of writing.

I feel like there are millions of layers to how God sees us as people, too. He has created us, putting pieces of Himself of infinite worth and value into our the heart of hearts knitted in each of us, both male and female.

I hope you know that we are valuable.

You are valuable.

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I'm A Christian Girl And I AM a Feminist, Because Everyone Is Equal In The Eyes Of God

If you were waiting for me to post a picture of me in front of an Olive Garden you've come to the wrong place.

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Recently, I saw an article here on Odyssey that has been swirling around on twitter titled, "I'm a Christian Girl And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend for Women to Be Equals."

As a Christian Girl who IS a feminist, I have a critique for this article.

I'm all for freedom of speech and people having their own opinions, but the argument that this woman makes needs to be challenged. She asked for Feminists to back up their arguments and I have delivered.

Let me give you some background into my own religious story. I grew up in a very religious family, my dad is even a pastor of his own church, so you could say that I am relatively well versed when it comes to the Bible and Christian Beliefs. Not once was I told that I could never do anything a man couldn't. I had every capability of doing anything a man could, and I'm grateful that I was raised to have my own autonomy. That being said, I also grew up watching my Christian, feminist, single mother be the head of OUR household, and NOT submit to a husband. That did not make her evil, nor did it make her sinful in the eyes of God. She was my provider during this time and I wholeheartedly believe God intended me to grow up this way.

You can say I'm biased, but let's take a closer look into what arguments were made.

God Made Man First

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While this is true, God did make man before woman, God also recognizes that Adam needed a HELPER. Not a servant, not a sandwich maker, not a sex slave. A HELPER. "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Genesis 2.18 NKJV) Another key thing to note here is that comparable is written. Meaning that women are equal enough to be compared to men, they are parallel, different yes, but equal in importance just the same.

We Are to Submit to our Husbands

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I don't know how many of you know this, but not everybody has a husband. That's just a fact of life. However, something you might find interesting is that submit has two definitions. The first is the kind where we are under the authority of someone, and the other being subject to a particular process, treatment, or condition. Perhaps this is God telling us to let go of fears and EMOTIONALLY give yourself and your love to someone. As it is later stated in Ephesians 5 (NOT Proverbs BTW.) Husbands are meant to love their wives in return. (Also why aren't we calling out the men who left single mothers behind and not loving them?)

"Proverbs 31 Woman"

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What does this even mean, and why is it relevant? Proverbs 31 is about a prophecy the mother of King Lemuel, who we don't even know to be quite honest, had laid out for him. Not ONCE did Jesus utter these words, and why should it be up for interpretation as this book was not made by Jesus himself.

Women and Men are not equal in God's Eyes

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First of all, how do we know? Second of all, I could have 5lbs of apples and I could have 5lbs of pears, and I would still have an EQUAL amount of each. Different things with different features that appeal to different people, but I still have an equal amount of each. Equality does not mean that we don't acknowledge differences, but rather we allow each other the same opportunities because when it comes down to it, we are all human beings, and for me personally, we are all children of God.

I love my church, I love God, and I love others just as I was taught. That does not mean it's my job to judge people, nor does it mean I need to shove my beliefs in their face. I also do not have to accept what each church tells me, the Bible has many different translations and is up for interpretation, who are we to decide which is the correct one? My faith does not restrict me from being my own individual, and trivial interpretations do not stop me from standing with and caring for my fellow women who are raped, molested, slut-shamed, sold, murdered, harassed, oppressed, beaten, and married off as children every day. Being a feminist is recognizing that women have the same fundamental rights as men, and are equal in the eyes of the law. Being a feminist is looking out for my fellow women. It is me loving my neighbor as I would love myself, next to loving God with my whole self.

To non-feminists and those that are, you are loved despite your differences. You are loved equally. Just like men and women should be.

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