Feminism is a controversial hot-button topic in today's society. Bring it up in any conversation, and you're sure to get an emotionally-charged, convicted response from just about anyone. Many women claim they're feminists, and many men as well.
Why is it such a big deal when someone specifically says he or she isn't a feminist? Because either way, that person will get written off. As a man, you will be told your opinion doesn't matter because you're not a woman, and as a women, you will be written off just as easily and told you don't understand the idea or that you're not really a woman if you're not a feminist. Express a different opinion, and you are likely to be told that you do not have legitimate reasons to think differently than other people tell us we should.
Lots of people have and are going to tell me that I am a feminist, that anyone who thinks women are equal to men is a feminist, and that I'm really only objecting to radical feminism. Let me be clear: feminism these days is not that simple, and I am not a feminist.
So why am I, a young woman, not a feminist? Here are just a few of many reasons.
There is no such thing as the "wage gap."
These statistics are warped, and we've known for decades that they aren't true. According to the Washington Examiner, Women are paid the same amount of money for the same job. They have to be; it is already illegal to do otherwise. Any business practicing otherwise is subject to the law. This statistic comes from average income; it's like comparing apples to minivans. Regardless of gender, a doctor makes more money than a fry cook at Burger King. If there are more men in high-paying professions than women, it's our own fault for not choosing to enter high-paying professions. No one is going to hand you a doctorate or a CEO position if you don't earn it, and there's no reason we should expect them to. TIME claims that differences in pay for the same job are small and have more to do with a whole plethora of other factors such as location, experience, number of hours worked, overtime, and education than they have to do with something as negligible as gender.
If there is a difference in average pay between men and women, it's not because of invisible, unprovable forces like systematic sexism or "the patriarchy." It's because of individual choice. At this point in time, women are not barred from entering high-earning professions. If you personally want to make more money even as a woman, break into a high-paying profession. Get an education. Major in engineering or law or pre-med instead of women's studies. Your life is up to you, not society, so you get to make your own choices about how much money you make.
"Equal" does not mean what you think it means.
Why has the definition of equal in our culture changed so much in these past years? Do I think it's unfair if my neighbor makes more money than me? I have no right to feel that I should be concerned in other people's finances. I have no business asking other people how much they make, let alone claiming that it's unfair if our incomes are different, drastically or not.
Furthermore, I don't think that the number of people in public office or in a workplace has to be exactly representative of the population of a given area. That's insane. Employers should be able to hire whoever is qualified to do their job, regardless of whether they have a second X chromosome, without restrictions and requirements saying that they have to have so many workers from such-and-such a group. It's more important that the person holding a job is qualified to do that job and the best candidate than what their genetic makeup is.
It's not just your body.
Why is it so "anti-woman" to disapprove of abortion? I and other female pro-life advocates have been told countless times that we are not really women for our choice to be pro-life, that we are "men with boobs."
The thing is, no matter what pregnancy does to a woman's body, it's still not the only body involved. From conception to birth and beyond, the zygote or embryo or fetus or baby or whatever you want to call it, is undeniably and scientifically a separate human body with its own genes and should be treated with dignity and respect as a human being. A toddler's not as independent as an adult, but not being full-grown doesn't make him or her any less human, so why should it here?
If feminism is really about empowering women, why aren't feminists protesting gendercide eliminating baby girls solely on the basis of their gender? If being "pro-choice" is really about choice, why don't pro-choicers protest forced abortions in China?
Men's voices matter too.
"No uterus, no opinion." I've heard that so many times, regardless of the issue concerned, be it abortion or the wage gap or equality in general. Isn't it unfair that we silence men simply because they are not women? If it were the other way around, feminists would be furious. As it is, any man who objects to this forceful "argument" is seen as a threat and misogynist. This "argument" is only used to silence men who disagree with feminists; any man who does agree is more than welcome to have an opinion. That in itself is a form of oppression; everyone has the right to freedom of speech.
And in the issue of abortion specifically? Well, let's just say it takes two to tango. Men are fathers just as much as women are mothers, and they have a right to have some say in what happens to their children so long as the mother was not raped.
Not to mention the extreme bias in the system against fathers and towards mothers. Preference is almost always given to the mother regardless of the situation. All a woman has to do to get almost guaranteed preference is to claim the father is abusive. A man's hands are tied when it comes to legal matters concerning his children. If he objects or resists too much, he can easily be branded for life as a bad father who doesn't deserve to even see his children.
I refuse to behave like a victim.
Recently I heard someone say something that I really agreed with: "If you always play the victim, that's all you'll ever amount to."
Placing blame on others and some invisible force is an avoidance tactic. It's a way of refusing to face up to your own choices and responsibilities. Regardless of your gender, your life is in your own hands and your choices are just that: yours. Nobody particularly enjoys having responsibility when something goes wrong, but it's immature not to take that responsibility regardless of the consequences of your choices. Individuals are responsible for themselves. I don't want to take responsibility for anyone else's bad choices any more than they want to take responsibility for mine, and I shouldn't have to and neither should they. We are in control of our own actions.
Our lives are in our own hands. I'm not here to be the little girl who cried "sexism" whenever I don't get my way. I don't believe that I am systematically oppressed. I have just the same opportunities as any man, and frankly, I don't want to be a part of a system that forces others to give me an advantage over other people just because I'm supposedly part of an oppressed class because that's not equality.
The fact that I am not a feminist is not something I admit to many people and something I've said only to the closest and most trusted of my friends. To a lot of people, it seems almost unthinkable, and to many it's just another reason to silence me.
But, I will not be silenced.
