Feminism. The four-syllable word that causes men and women the world over to snarl and gnash their teeth. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. Still, feminism gets so much negative press you'd think that feminists make a practice of punching newborn babies and dropkicking puppies. I recently read an article from this very website about not being a feminist, in which the author claims that people have explained feminism to her, but then launches into a tirade about how feminists don't think traditional values like being a stay-at-home mother or submitting to one's husband are worthy.
That's so false.
Please take a moment to read this article so that I can help dispel some of the common misconceptions about contemporary feminism.
Feminists think being a stay-at-home mother and/or housewife is an unworthy life choice.
Wrong. Feminism essentially boils down to equality. When feminism first emerged into our society, women did not have a choice about their careers. They either stayed at home with their children and managed their household or, if their family needed the income, they would work outside of the home --usually relegated to "female" tasks, like sewing. These were expectations set for women by their society and their familial need.
These days, being a stay-at-home mother or housewife is not an expectation. It's a choice. Any true feminist will tell you that it's as worthy a choice as pursuing a career in medicine, law, education, science, whatever. Have you ever spent time with a stay-at-home mother? Their lives are hectic and busy. It's a difficult job! Women are now allowed and encouraged to pursue higher education and/or to mold a career path. Being a stay-at-home mother is a career path. Household management is incredibly complex. If you choose that as your career, more power to you, girlfriend.
Alternatively, feminists also believe that men should be afforded the choice to be stay-at-home dads if they wish. How many stay-at-home dads do you think get emasculated on a daily basis? That's not cool. If women can stay at home and raise kids, so can men!
Feminists are all radical left-wingers.
Wrong. Feminists come from all ideologies, including conservatism. Again, feminism is about equality. That means anyone who is committed to social justice and equality is invited to identify as a feminist. I don't care who you vote for, or what your opinion on tax loopholes is. If you care about women and men enjoying equal rights, I am proud to link arms with you.
Feminists aren't Christian.
Partially wrong. Feminists can identify with any number of religions. Some may identify as atheist or agnostic. They have the right to believe what they want. Many feminists are Christian, though. Hi, I'm one of them!
Feminists support abortion and therefore support killing babies.
Wrong. The jury is still out on reaching a consensus about when life begins. That's a personal belief that you are welcome to have. What is not welcome is forcing that belief on all women and attempting to take away a woman's right to bodily autonomy. We are the only sex that is able to bear children, so it stands to reason that we should be able to make decisions about our reproductive health. Men can make decisions about their reproductive health without fear of scrutiny or refusal. Women can't. A woman who chooses to terminate her pregnancy is met with protesters telling her she's going to Hell, and sometimes they women who choose to terminate their pregnancies are met with gunfire. That is not equality. We don't "support abortion", we support equality in reproductive health decisions.
Fun bonus: there are Pro-Life feminists out there.
Feminists hate men.
No. I like men just fine, and so do all of the other feminists I know. We don't hate men. We hate that neither gender receives equal treatment. We hate that women get paid less than men for doing the same job with the same qualifications. We hate that male rape survivors are not taken seriously. We hate that females get lesser punishments for domestic violence than men do. We hate that men can walk around shirtless, but a breastfeeding mother gets shamed for feeding her child in public. We hate that school dress codes make young girls feel like sex objects to their male classmates and teachers. Nowhere in our agenda do we seek to destroy men. We celebrate men just as much as we celebrate women. That's what equality is.
Feminists are lesbians.
Partially wrong. There are lesbians who identify as feminists, but there are also heterosexual people, bisexual people, gay men, pansexual people, asexual people, transgender people, and intersex people who identify as feminists. The amount of times people have assumed that I'm a lesbian just because I'm a feminist is crazy. No, I'm not attracted to women (except for perhaps Natalie Dormer because she's flawless), but some of my female feminist friends are. Our sexual orientation has nothing to do with being feminists.
Feminists are ugly.
I've had people say this to me, too (usually from behind their computer or phone). "You're a feminist? Lol you must be really ugly". Beauty is subjective, my friends. What you find attractive isn't what the person next to you finds attractive. There are some smoking hot feminists out there. Beyonce, anyone? If you think I'm ugly that's fine, just as long as you understand that how you perceive my appearance has nothing to do with me being a feminist.
Women are only feminists until they get a boyfriend/fiance/husband.
First of all, not all women are attracted to men, nor are all feminists.
I'll be just as proud to be a feminist when I'm in a relationship as I am now, when I'm completely single. By the way, being single is a choice people can make. It's a choice I've made for the time being. Mind blowing, I know. I don't even think I *gasp* want to get married (but maybe that's just because I haven't met the right person. I'll keep you posted).
Feminists do not adhere to traditional values.
What are "traditional" values? What's traditional to you may not be traditional to someone else. Feminists actually place a value on everyone's values, so long as they don't infringe upon equality of the sexes. If submitting to your husband is a value you want to adhere to, I support you wholeheartedly. Just so you know, feminists don't care about the structure of your marriage, as long as you're happy in it.
Feminists are offended by everything.
Nah, we're just offended by things we find offensive. Just like everyone who doesn't identify as a feminist. We didn't always have the luxury to freely express our opinions, you know. Some women still don't. I'm not sorry for calling someone out when they offend me. What do you think inspired this article?
Thing is, I'm not offended that some people don't identify as feminists. That's just fine with me. What does offend me is when people don't take the time to understand feminism and loudly denounce it. If you want to learn more, check out some books on the subject. If you don't, that's okay too. Just don't accuse us of being something we're not!
