I have a few questions for my local Walmart in my small town, which I shall not name.

Firstly, why no dental dams local Walmart?

Do you not understand the importance of dental dams?

Do you not understand how to properly use a dental dam?

Do you not want them to taint the very innocent condoms?

Do you think gay people don't exist in this county? (Hint, they do.)

Do you not understand how STDs works?

Do you not care about STD prevention?

Do you want people to get STDs?

Do you think they don't belong in the aptly named "Family Planning" section of your store?

Do you not understand you can make a dental dam by cutting a condom in half? (You are essentially already selling dental dams so why not really sell them?)

Do you even know what a dental dam is?

Did you only know about the kind that dentist use?

Why don't you put them with the pregnancy tests? (Which for some reason isn't with everything else in the "Family Planning" section.)

Why don't you put them next to the Plan B? (Which for some reason is locked up like it might infect anyone who comes near it.)

Female pharmacist must you stare at me with judgement while I loudly bemoan the fact you have no dental dams?

Must you also stare at me with judgement while I bemoan the fact Plan B is super expensive?

Are you assuming I want to buy it? (I don't, I just care about other women who might feel intimidated by your judgment.)

Must you judge people? (I don't think that is in your job description.)

Must I judge you? (I hope you just have a resting bitch face and this all just me worrying.)

Did you not understand what things you would have to deal with working at the Walmart pharmacy?

Did you think no one had sex?

Did you think only straight couples had sex?

Did you think straight couples couldn't use dental dams? (They can.)

Did think lesbian couples just aggressively hugged each other?

Did you think no one wanted to have safe sex? (Like a smart person.)

Why not put them with the menstrual products?

Why are the menstrual products and the "Family Planning" section separated by a few sections of travel sized toiletries?

Do you think men will be afraid if they see a pad or tampon? (They might be.)

Why are they called feminine products, to begin with?

I won't go further into the fact that you have no alternative menstrual products, I can pick my battles.

Lastly, is this just my local Walmart of my small town? Or are there other women in other local Walmarts looking for dental dams and not finding them. (Also, as an afterthought why is it called the black hair section, why is it so small, and why did you hide the good stretchy rubber bands back there?)