It's time for school to start again. The month all college and school kids are dreading but, if you're like me and in college, this can be an exciting time. It's a time where you get to move away from home in some cases, and figure out who you are as a person while getting an education. College is a crucial point in someone's life and for me, it's a "new chapter" I'm excited to write. Yes, it was sad to leave my parents and see them upset but I've never felt so ready to be away from home.
I've always had a feeling that the place I grew up in wasn't my home. Something about it never felt right and it took me a while to realize it. Since 10th grade, I can honestly say that I have been so unhappy with where I lived and everyday I woke up feeling like I was going through the motions and I grew tired of it. Being so unhappy with where I was, I was a little snippy and not always in the best mood. I just wanted to leave. Every time that I visited Boone, I had this peaceful feeling inside me and a feeling that told me I was "home." Looking back now, I think that's why it hurt so bad when I found out I didn't get in my freshman year. It hurt because Boone is where I'm supposed to be. Every time I left this town to go home after visiting for the day, I felt extremely depressed. Not "depressed" like we used to be when we were little and leaving vacations but "depressed" as in: I'm leaving my home. Boone has always felt like a safe place for me, even the drive up here to this beautiful mountain town made me excited. There's something about this place that never fails to put a smile on my face (I'm sure that will change once classes start).
The thing that makes me excited the most about starting a new life here at Appalachian State is that it's a fresh start. It's time to start over in a different place where no one knows who I am. All of my past mistakes and failures don't define me anymore and I get a clean slate. There is so much that has happened in the past that I'm excited to erase. Up here, it's like none of it ever happened. The boy I dated who broke my heart doesn't exist anymore, the best-friend I had that isn't in my life anymore isn't on my mind and the unhappy Ashlyn I was is now a happy, new Ashlyn.
Yes, there are going to be hard times here and not all of it is going to be smiles and rainbows but I'm in my happy place where the good will outweigh the bad. I have an awesome roommate that I am already growing close to (who is also almost a carbon copy of me and it's a little freaky) and I can already tell that she's going to be someone who will stay close with me. I needed this fresh start. I felt so suffocated back in my hometown and I thought that no one would understand the way I felt; no one would understand how unhappy I was to be there. This fresh start feels like a breath of fresh air and I'm so happy for the possibilities and experiences that are here to come in my new and real home.
