The first year of college is always the hardest (and I'm not talking about classes here). You've found yourself in a new place away from home, you're becoming distanced from your high school crew, and you've been overwhelmed by all the new people and new experiences you've had. It is a lot to take in, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. But let me tell you, through all the great things that happen, sometimes the first year of college is not what you expected it to be.
By October of my freshman year, I found myself severely discontent with the way things were going. While I had great friends, good grades, and an incredible roommate who always supported me, it just seemed like I was missing something. I can now admit that I was still stuck day-dreaming about my days in high school, and just couldn't seem to move on from all the good, and bad, things that happened during those four years. I was comparing my college experience to what I saw of other people's lives that they posted on social media, and it became a downward spiral of resentment. I was resenting the relationships and opportunities to succeed Oklahoma State had willingly handed to me, and found myself in tears as I drove back to Stillwater after Thanksgiving Break.
In January, I had submitted my application to another university. I was anxious for the year to end so I could leave Stillwater in the past. I talked to some of my good friends about it, and while I didn't realize it at the time, the advice they had to give was so right. They told me that they were all feeling this way, and that it's just part of the transition. Just because something doesn't go the way you think it should doesn't mean there aren't good things in store for the future. Shortly after spring midterms, something changed in my heart. Friendships grew stronger and I found a purpose in my struggles and am now nothing but grateful for Oklahoma State.
If you've ever found yourself feeling the way I did, know you are not alone. People tell you that "college is the best four years of your life," but that doesn't mean every day will be sunshine and rainbows and A's on exams. Just like anything else, there will be bumps along the road. But remember that they're just speed bumps, and there is always a way to get over them. While I wouldn't want to go back to my freshman year, I can reflect on it with pride because I know I overcame it. I have been given so many opportunities to grow and succeed and be challenged, and to let those opportunities be overshadowed by mere discontentment would be a disgrace.
Start each day with a grateful heart and a clean slate. Take advantage of as many opportunities as you can, and devote your time doing something you love, because that is where you will find contentment. I know that while you're experiencing the sadness and lack of motivation it seems like things will never get better, but I am proof that they will. Someone is always there for you, and you should always be there for someone too. Stick it out, because this orange runs deep.
