So often, as humans, we believe we need to push ourselves beyond what we can handle. It’s so easy to feel the need to fill up your schedule because your open time is viewed as “free” time instead of “me” time. When do you get to take the time to cut out time for yourself when there’s so much being asked of you or that you want to do? When you have the opportunity to join in something fun, why would you say no? All play and no you is trouble too. It’s okay to be selfish and say no when people ask you to do something, no matter how much you may want to do it. In our society, it’s often looked down upon to get in touch with your sensitive side, but it’s needed. The negative stigma of being “overly emotional” and “selfish” needs to end. When you give yourself away SO much, you start to lose your individuality.
What you want becomes what is just next on your agenda. You start to loose interest in the things you used to love because you can’t enjoy them anymore as you are constantly moving to the next activity. College already expects so much of you but when you pile on a social life and a side job, you loose the time for you to do what you want to do because you conform to what is on your agenda. Whether that may be reading, going on a run, painting, etc. It’s important to take even an hour every day to be alone and focus on yourself. You stop taking the steps to take care of yourself because you no longer think about what you need to do in order to be the best you. We often feel so guilty when we need to separate ourselves from the rest of the world just to take a step back and focus on our lives. But if we can’t be 100% healthy or at least striving to be, healthy relationships and positive thinking are nearly impossible to obtain.
The point of “me” time is less of what activities you want to be a part of and more of having time set aside to focus on yourself. It’s okay to stay in when everyone else is going out just to enjoy your own company. You need to be your own best advocate and friend. While you may have friends who you enjoy being around, it’s not an insult to say no to being with them when you are aware you’re not feeling well enough. In fact, saying no to someone just to have “me” time means you are strong enough to be alone without fear of judgment or worthlessness. It’s important to have activities that you can enjoy, but it’s not okay to only fill your time up with those. If your friends are true and worthwhile, they will understand when you say you need time for yourself. They will understand when you say you can not go out for a night. They will not only accept that but they will also cherish the fact that you care enough about yourself. It’s always motivational when you care enough about yourself to know that you are worth it and can love being alone.
The most important thing in life is YOU. Not that you are the center of the Universe or that you are above anyone else, but when you start to put other things before yourself, you minimize how important you truly are and how much love you deserve. Even though you might not feel as if you’re worth it, you are worth a gold medal for being you. Or maybe you do know how much you’re worth. In that case, you are kicking ass. However, it’s important to be outside of yourself so you don’t become insular. Justin Vernon stated, “There’s only so much time digging through yourself before you become insular”. That basically means that there’s only so much time you can spend focusing on yourself before you shut yourself out from the world. Therefore, it’s not that you need to constantly be doing hard work on yourself and focusing on problems. Life’s greatest gifts come from knowing the importance of laughter and love. However, you do need to listen to your needs and then actually fulfill them.
Loving yourself should be the easiest thing. YOU get to own your faults and insecurities. No one else does. YOU get to challenge yourself to be better and to focus on your own needs. No one else does. YOU get to take care of yourself before anyone else does. No one else does YOUR body is yours and you get to take care of it and own it. No one else does. YOU get to explore life and find our your likes and dislikes. No one else does. How can you not love something that is 100% yours?
