I can clearly recall enjoying writing—from writing down random little thoughts, to keeping a diary, making lists, writing papers, and now writing articles. Writing was something that came naturally. I never had to remind myself “oh make sure you write today;” it always ended up being something I just did. It was a way of getting my thoughts, ideas, and feelings in front of me in an organized way. There was no pushing aside or confusion; words were able to articulate what I wanted to say. It was my way of figuring out how to deal with whatever was going on at the time and coping with that.

Now, with school and my major, there are days where I want to do anything but write. Last semester, with a journalism course, writing course, AND English course in my schedule, I felt positive some days that writing just wasn’t for me. And when I did write, there were times I couldn’t think of the right words to say what I wanted to say, or what I did write sounded wrong and like there was no way I could fix it. I went from feeling like I exceled in writing when I was younger to feeling mediocre at best in writing for college. I would think, “Maybe this isn’t what I’m meant to do.”

I still have days like that (quite often), as I’m sure everyone does with something they enjoy or are passionate about. But when I think about writing and how it makes me feel, I don’t care so much about the outcome. In writing, like many things, it’s the process that makes it. There have been times I’ve written something that turned out horribly, and I knew it, but I enjoyed writing it. On the other hand, there are times I’m writing something and I feel like pulling my hair out, but I’m happy with the turnout. I should reiterate that I don’t think writing is easy. I never have. It may come naturally, but definitely not easily. I think it’s something that takes concentration, comprehensive thought, and knowledge on a variety of subjects. It’s something you can’t ever truly perfect, but in its imperfections and mistakes, you can see just how human writing is. Although, I think it’s important to keep working on it and hopefully improving nonetheless.

I don’t think writing will ever come easily to me, but it’s the one thing I’ve always turned back to time and time again. I’ve always been considered more of a “quiet person,” and writing has given me a voice I don’t think I’d have otherwise. It makes me feel braver in saying something that I couldn’t have said out loud, or in making sure my thoughts are brought across clearly. And I think that’s what real passion is: working and persevering at something, simultaneously enjoying and loathing the process, and accepting that the best things don’t come easy.