I like to think of myself as someone who is not racist or sexist and loves everyone. You know, like most people. However, given the overwhelming amount of horrible events that have occurred over the past short months of this summer, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how I think about race, sexuality, and discrimination, as well as what I can do to help in some small way. I want to include sexuality under the heading “colorblind” because in this letter, being colorblind refers to the act of not discriminating against or even noticing that a person is different from oneself because of something they did not choose. I think sexuality falls under this definition as well.

I was brought up in a Christian home where I was taught to follow God’s golden rule: love all people. My parents taught me that this meant love without exception. Love based not on skin color, sexuality, religion, fashion sense, history, anything. Just love. Since I was a child, I have prided myself on following this rule and not paying attention to any of the above “categories” when I meet people. To see people as a conglomeration of interests and stories and emotion instead of a color, attraction, size, etc. Now, I don’t think this is bad. But recently, I’ve realized that this is sadly too idealistic for 2016. I've realized that if I don’t pay attention to your race and your sexuality, then I cannot see the problems you face. I cannot help you. It’s like I’m refusing to recognize the troubles you face because I was born white and I have never faced them myself. To truly be “colorblind” right now, in 2016, would be to ignore the discrimination against anyone different from me.

I first heard the word “colorblind” in reference to casting in theatre. The issue of minorities being passed over for roles not because of their inferior skill to white actors, but because they are not white actors, has become a major topic of conversation in the past few years. The current Broadway phenomenon, "Hamilton," brought this issue to the forefront of conversation last year when it was lauded for its diverse cast. However, there was something in the dialogue surrounding this show that stuck in my mind and incubated for around a year before I started to understand what it meant. “Color-aware casting” is a phrase I first heard when someone asked me in September of 2015 why I hadn’t listened to "Hamilton" yet. "Hamilton" is the story of one of the founding fathers with an incredibly ethnically diverse cast. When the composer, Lin-Manuel Miranda, was asked why more shows don’t have the same diversity, he responded by talking about authorial intent — if the author specifies that a character is a certain race, then that is how they will be cast. The two issues here are, one, many shows have no specifications, yet are still cast by and with white artists. There was some backlash in 2014 when Keke Palmer was cast as Cinderella in the Rogers and Hammerstein musical simply because the role has historically been played by a white female, but there is nothing saying that’s who should play the princess all the time. This leads us to problem No. 2: for years upon years upon years, plays have been written by people who are not part of a minority. The majority of playwrights in theatre history have been white, and their plays have been about their experiences as white people. In order for more roles written specifically for non-white actors to exist, more non-white playwrights must be given the same opportunity for publishing and production.

But what about colorblindness versus color awareness outside of theatre? After talking about this subject extensively with other theatre artists, I realized that the solution to the lack of opportunities for minorities in theatre is, at this point in time, not to ignore race altogether, but to acknowledge it. To acknowledge that the Disney princess doesn’t always have to be white. To acknowledge that always casting actors of color in submissive roles such as servants, slaves, etc. is not accurate to who these races are/should be in culture today. Theatre should be a reflection of culture. That is the purpose of art. I cannot be colorblind right here, right now, this summer, as tragedies like Orlando and Philando Castile and the Dallas police shooting happen. I need to be color aware. I cannot close my eyes and pretend we are all the same. I wish I could. I hope someday I can because I believe that every person is deserving of love and that in God’s eyes, we are all precious and loved beyond measure. For now, though, it’s too early. Like I realized freshman year, when I was fortunate enough to live with a Latina who introduced me to her culture and the hardships that came with that, and later when I met an African American woman who told me she loved "Princess and the Frog" because finally there was a princess who looked like her, we are not all the same in today’s culture, and not being colorblind, not ignoring that fact, is the first step I can take to changing that.