As a young woman in the year 2015, in a generation when women have gained so much power, I am honestly shocked we still believe in fairy tales. Why are we always looking for Prince Charming and hoping that every guy we're with will be our happily ever after?
Well I'm here to be the villain and tell all of you smart, beautiful women that fairy tales do not exist. Yes, I know some of you are condemning me right now, calling me a killjoy or a bitch for not believing in "true love," but you couldn't be further from the truth. I do in fact believe in true love. I still believe that there is a man out there who will love me, be faithful to me, and treat me the way I deserve. It's just not going to happen at this very second.
Society has taught me to believe that I must find my Prince Charming or my Chuck Bass right now. At a time in my life when I can't even decide what I want for dinner, I'm somehow supposed to be finding the guy to spend the rest of my life with. This is what TV shows like "Gossip Girl" and movies like "The Notebook" have taught us about love. Yes, they're addicting and GREAT to watch. But they are giving young women a false perception of real love.
Real love is not about the Mr. Right Now; it’s not about falling in love when you’re young and spending 60-plus years with someone who isn’t actually for you. It’s about falling in love with Mr. Right when the time is right. Roughly 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. end up in divorce, according to the American Psychological Association. Why? Because couples get married too fast. They jump the gun out of fear that they won't find true love if they don't do it now.
We think we know someone, that this is the “right” person for us. But how can you know someone who hasn’t even experienced a third of his or her own life yet? You’re telling me you know for an absolute fact that that person is exactly who you think you are? That they’re the one for you, when you don’t even really know who you are?
Sadly, I am guilty of this just like many other young women of my generation. I go from relationship to relationship thinking this guy is the "one." All the while fantasizing about my future with them and completely ignoring the fact that I deserve so much better than happily ever after with Mr. Wrong. I've wasted so much of my time hung up on guys who didn't deserve me, didn't treat me right, and quite frankly didn't even love me. Why? Because I thought they were all the "one." I spent the majority of my time daydreaming about our future together, how great our lives would be, and how happy I could make them.
While pinning away my dream wedding on Pinterest, I completely ignored the fact that he didn't feel the same way. Consequently letting myself get treated as lesser than I deserve all because I was ready for my “fairy tale.” I believed I needed to fall in love now.
As I've gotten older, I've gained more experience through heartbreaks, enough tears to end the drought in California, and plenty of stupid boys. The most important thing I've learned is that love has no time limit. I have not found the one for me yet, not even close. But that's OK because eventually I will when I'm ready, when I've grown up, and when I know what I want in life and in a man.
Until then, all I can do is learn to love myself, experience life, and remember that I will acquire real love when I’m ready. If you have found your "one," good for you. I am truly happy for you. But if you haven't, don't settle for Mr. Wrong just because you think you need it now. Your time will come, and when it does, it will be worth the wait.
