There’s a lot of pressure to be perfect in the world we live in: to be pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough. There’s a lot of pressure simply to be good enough. This pressure can be internalized or from outside sources, and even more likely, a bit of both. The feeling of failure, of not being enough, of not living up to the standards that you have set for yourself or that you feel others have set for you, can be overwhelming at times, and intimidating. But that’s okay, because people aren’t perfect. It’s human nature to mess up. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but these mistakes should not define who you are as a person.
People often say that actions speak louder than words, so when you make a mistake, accept it. Just because your prior actions are not representative of who you are or who you want to be does not mean that your future actions cannot redefine your self-image. Accept that you are human and remind yourself that your mistake does not have to be the end of the world, even if it may feel like it at the time. Life is messy, and people are messier, so it’s okay to make mistakes. Just make sure that you learn from those mistakes. As long as you don’t let your mistake turn into a pattern, or a regular part of your life, there’s no reason to dwell on the past.
It isn’t healthy to live your life filled with regret, what-if’s, or a desire to go back and change what you’ve done. So if you are, or ever do, feel that guilt, and the regret of a mistake you’ve made, do what you can to fix it. Set your sights ahead and remember that it’s going to be okay. I’m not saying to forget what you’ve done because regardless, your mistake is a part of your life and that can’t be changed. But I am saying that you should forgive yourself. Your friends and your family will still be by your side, still believing in you and loving you in spite of your flaws and imperfections. One mistake isn’t going to change that.
I know in the moment it doesn’t feel that way, because that same pressure to be perfect is still there, weighing on you. I personally can attest to this; it’s hard to accept your mistakes and believe that everything is going to be okay and your loved ones won’t give up on you. As hard as it is to disappoint yourself, it’s even harder to feel like you have disappointed the people who have always been there, rooting for you. But have confidence in who you are, the things that you value and what you stand for. So long as you hold onto that, you won’t stray too far from the person you want to be, or the person you want others to see in you. So long as you hold onto that, you can never truly let yourself or anyone else down. You may have some lapses but at the end of the day, you are not your mistakes, you are not your flaws and you are certainly not your past. This is only a part of you, and not even the most important part. What matters most is who you are deep down, and who you choose to be from here on out.
