You were supposed to be there.
It doesn’t matter how far away there was, you were supposed to be there.
It doesn’t matter what there was, you were supposed to be there.
People always talk about you like you were supposed to be accessible, but the funny thing is – you never were.
Where were you?
Where were you every night the dark was so thick it choked?
You were supposed to be there.
People tell stories about you like they met you, but I must have faulty directions.
Where were you?
Where were you every night the pillow was too damp to sleep on?
I remember now.
Maybe if you had known the price on the tag of your misunderstanding, you would’ve been there.
Just been there.
Perhaps you wanted to be there because you understood more than you were ever able to show.
People say you are always in their corner, no matter what.
But I think my poms must have lost their sparkle, because you never bothered to pick them up.
You were supposed to be there, no matter where there was.
People say you told them how achingly beautiful they were that night in that dress for that dance.
I think you must have forgotten me, seems like I missed that chance.
You were supposed to be there, if only you’d been there.
People say you clutched them tighter than ever when they threw their cap in the air.
I clutched a blanket to my chest and wondered if it felt the same.
I don’t know where you were, but I do know where those moments are.
They say you can’t change the past…
But if I write you into my story, and squint my eyes and tilt my head a bit to the side…
I can almost fool myself into thinking you were there.
But maybe you weren’t there, and I guess that’s okay.
I can’t beg you to be there, I can’t even hope you will be there.
I guess you really didn’t want to be.
And while those moments are gone, the absences will always be there.
The mounting silence will always be there.
Just you won’t.
And it’s okay that it isn’t okay.
Where were you?
You were supposed to be there,
But now you can stay elsewhere.
