“I don’t want someone to tell me about how it ‘gets better’ and that I need to ‘move on.’ I need someone to tell me that my feelings are validated. I don’t need someone to tell me about how much happier I could be. I need someone to hold me and tell me that I’ve been strong, and that it’s okay, sometimes, to not be okay.” - Unknown
We’re constantly being told to “stay strong” and “it gets better,” but why is it so wrong to acknowledge that it is nearly impossible to be strong all the time? People break down. We need other people. It’s an actual biological need that we as humans need to have emotional connections with other humans to thrive in life.
This isn’t just about women and girls, either. Our society is stereotypically against men showing any emotions that would make them seem “weak.” But, why? Are they a different race than human women who have feelings as simply a part of surviving? Men feel the same emotions as women, even though they may feel them differently. I know it’s a hard concept to grasp that men share the same feelings as women, and to accept that they should be able to express them since the way we’ve grown up in a society that portrays it differently, but it is important for any person (man or woman) to express emotion for the sake of their mental health.
Being “okay” all the time would actually be pretty boring. How can you cherish the really good moments if they’re appearing all the time? We wouldn’t be able to acknowledge that these are the moments worth remembering. We would likely take for granted all of the times we find ourselves finally at peace with the world. Life would seem so mundane and we wouldn’t understand the feeling of your abs after a good laugh or the butterflies in your chest when you fall in love. Would you trade in all of the really good moments to experience just all “average” moments?
Believe it or not, falling apart sometimes can have its benefits. Sometimes it can allow us to be closer to the ones we love. Being vulnerable to people close to you when you need support shows that you are comfortable confiding in them, and this can be a missing piece to a strong, healthy relationship. It also can show them that you would do the same thing for them, too. There is often a lot of shame often associated with being sad or not “being strong.” When you stop hiding it and admit you need help and receive support from others, it can help you not feel as if needing help is something to be ashamed of.
Recognizing that you aren’t okay can help you to better yourself. If you don’t like where you are in life, realizing this is an opportunity to come up with a game plan, and take steps to achieve your goals. Achieving goals gives a sense of satisfaction, and can help dig you out of depressive states. So, let your guard down. Open up to people you love. Admit that you can’t do it on your own all of the time. Express your emotions, and help break the stigma that you are supposed to be strong 100 percent of the time.
