In my experience, saying no to people was always something I struggled with; I constantly felt that if I said no to someone I'd be letting them down. But looking back at it, the only person I was letting down was myself.
We live in a society that is constantly on the go. Always going to the next place, running to another meeting, rushing over to catch up with a friend; it seems like we never take the time to slow down and really reflect on why we do the things that we do.
As I started going away to school and adjusting to young adulthood, my work load and responsibilities began to pick up faster than I thought they would. I was always running to the next meeting, sprinting to grab something to eat before I had to go to yet another meeting, and so on and so fourth. It was a viscous and endless cycle of constant running around, yet it made me feel like I was important; as if my contributions and efforts made me valuable. And they did, until I realized I wasn't happy.
I was going through the motions of doing things because I felt like I had to do them, not because I actually wanted to. And as I continued to agree to things and help everyone out, I realized I wasn't taking care of myself; I was constantly sick, I wasn't sleeping right, I didn't have time to eat much, and in all honesty, I was a mess. I had a difficulty telling people that I couldn't help them because I was too afraid of letting them down, yet I wasn't taking care of myself so I could give them the best of what I had to offer.
Life and everything inside of it is always going to be stressful; it has a way of throwing curve balls at you and you just have to learn to roll with the punches. But at the end of the day, the only one you have left to truly count on is you. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't help other people.
And that's when I discovered the wondrous and magical word, "No."
No one expects you to have it together 100% of the time, and in today's world we barely take time for ourselves to make sure that we're at our best. A simple way to achieve that, I discovered, is saying "no" once I truly accepted the fact that I can't handle it.
It's an amazing opportunity to be involved and put yourself out there in the community, but it's a nightmare if you don't have the courage to say, "Hey, my schedule's pretty busy right now. Maybe next time."
You have to know your limits when it comes to responsibilities, but more importantly, you have to know yourself and what you can and can't handle. And trust me, after you start setting time aside to focus on you, everything else will fall into place as it should.
