The incredibly popular movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” is almost a how-to manual for people struggling with relationships. You see why certain people are interested and why others are not. You see someone fall flat on their emotional behind and watch them get back up. The ending is hopeful, however, as many endings of chick flicks are: you have to keep going; you have to endure awful relationships and incredibly embarrassing moments in order to find The One.
While that message helps get us through the next painful breakup, there’s another message that I think needs to be shared and understood more by girls, teenagers and young women everywhere: sometimes, he is not into you, and that’s OK.
When the guy isn’t texting you back, when he blows you off, when he ignores you, your friends will come up with a ton of excuses: “He’s just busy,” “He’s just intimidated by you,” and “He’s just trying to play it cool” are all common phrases. Let me be clear: sometimes this is totally true! Sometimes guys do play hard to get or they feel so awkward that they don’t know how to move forward with you. However, a lot of the time, those signs could mean he is not interested.
And that’s OK! I know heartache sucks, and it’s so terribly painful when the guy you like doesn’t like you back, but it's so much better to know. If you are really attracted to a guy and you learn he is not interested, it really hurts, but you eat some ice cream, watch some romantic movies and move on. If you keep clinging to the hope that he will text you or talk to you at that party, one of two things will happen: you will be ecstatic when you get a little attention and then be crushed when he stops responding, or he will never reach out and you will be left waiting.
It’s OK to not be loved by everyone. Like a smart person said, “You can be the ripest, most perfect peach in the world, and there will still be someone who doesn’t like peaches.” You will find someone who appreciates you and wants to make you happy, so don’t be upset when that hot guy doesn’t give you a second look. Don’t chase the boy who isn’t interested, because he is not worth your time. You shouldn't have to prove to anyone that you are good enough for him or that you would make him happy. The right one will know your worth and will want to monopolize your attention without you needing to chase him.
Unfortunately, the guys are not always evil in these cases, so you can't lay blame anywhere. Sometimes, you really don't want anything to do with a guy who is head-over-heels for you, and that's OK too. You can't force yourself to fall for someone if you don't like the person. The same holds true for guys -- sometimes it's just not right for them, and they should not be blamed for that. It is difficult to figure out when they are genuinely interested and when they are just trying to be nice, that's true, but if it seems questionable to you, don't obsess about trying to win him over. If it's right, it will work out.
The chase is usually fun, ladies, but if he isn’t interested, let him go. I’m not saying you shouldn’t play games, but your love is priceless—if he doesn’t recognize that, he’s not worth it.
