The amount of valid excuses to end a relationship are limitless. They can range from unhappiness to space to family issues. Usually when someone hears “I need to be there for my family” or “I just don’t feel happy anymore” they can’t argue those points. Family comes first, and if someone isn’t happy anymore you won’t make them happy by forcing them to stay. Relationships don’t work like that.
The amount of invalid excuses to end a relationship are also limitless. Hearing excuses such as “you aren’t man/woman enough for me” or “I just feel like we should see other people,” are some forms of poor and invalid excuses. Usually, they are used to cover up big fat lies. To every two sides—good and bad, men and women, black and white— there’s a middle ground. That is just as true for one particular excuse when ending a relationship. This excuse has hurt a lot of hearts in the past, probably hurting some presently, and you can be sure it will hurt a lot more in the future.
It’s not you, it’s me.
Those excusable words have the power to change lives. But it’s not all bad, because it’s not invalid to end a relationship with those words. Yes! I know usually when someone says these words it means that someone is waiting on the sidelines or maybe you start to think it’s you. But you really should take these words for face value. Once again
It’s not YOU. It’s ME.
If it were really the fault of the significant other, then the famous excuse would be
It’s not ME, it’s YOU.
But that’s not the excuse we all hate to hear. Think about it, as a human being you have been given everything you need to survive. You have two legs, two arms, lungs, kidneys, a brain, a heart, everything that’s needed to for a life to be created. Everything that’s necessary is given to you at birth, it’s just a matter of finding what makes you your own person. You have make something of yourself, so that you can have the privilege of sharing your life with another person. Knowing what you can give before giving is how a relationship works. It’s extremely logical when you think about it.
It’s all about giving and taking in moderation. When emotions become involved what you give and what you take has more value to it. The issue with being in a relationship is the balance between emotion and logic. When a relationship ends everything must be split up; physical objects, and all the value that goes along with them. It hurts to have to build yourself up when you depended on another for any amount of time.
However, it’s not impossible and it’s mandatory that you work on yourself just as much as someone else works on their life. Relationships are more than heartbreak and grief; there’re also ways to learn about yourself through the eyes of another. In life we don’t get to see ourselves, completely, all the time. Seeing ourselves through the eyes of another, is like looking into a mirror that will never have the same reflection. It can teach you a lot about yourself. The next time someone uses the excuse
It’s not you, it’s me.
Don’t take offense, and try not to believe that it’s you. It’s not easy for anyone to admit that they’re not enough. When that admission happens, that means it’s time to move on and figure out what you can do to be enough for yourself. It hurts to separate from someone that “completed” you, but you have to realize you’re already a whole on your own. You just haven’t discovered it yet.
